One of the guys
Well, it's been about two weeks since my date with Mijo, and I think I am safe to say that we are going to stay in the friend zone, and this is a good thing. Ten inches of a height difference would be a lot to reconcile, and no need to worry about that unless it's necessary. Besides, if I'm going to bite the bullet and date a shorter man, I am pretty sure I would want it to be Mr. Manager.Mijo, Mr. Manager, and Lance (newly introduced), are three of my closest male friends. They are also all considerably shorter than me (more than six inches). One of my favorite/least favorite things about being so tall, is that it makes friendships with short men so easy, and I end up with some great pals. Out of these three, I spend the most time with Lance. He is the social butterfly of the three, he always has something going on... and he also has the most attractive roommates (wink-wink). I am with Lance (usually accompanied by a roommate or four) at least once a week. Sometimes we're all hanging out watching So You Think You Can Dance, other times we're getting drinks at Sonic, and still other times we're throwing around a football.
There is one roommate in particular, Rex, who I have a bit of a crush on. It's the kind of crush that you are not sure what you want to happen with, but it's fun because you always get a little bit excited when you see them. It is probably a good thing that I'm not sure what I want with him, because I think I am very close to turning into/already "one of the guys". To illlustrate my point, here are some things that have happened while I have been present with Lance and the roomies:
- Farting (albeit minimal)
- Talking about "hot chicks"
- Phone calls to girls they want to "get with"
- Every guy playing on his smartphone at the same time
Granted, none of these things (except smartphone playing) has been done by Rex, he is still there while they go on. I don't think I would want to completely give up on these hang outs, because they are almost always the highlight of my week, so my question is this: Are there any tips you all have on how to:
- Hang out with "the guys" without becoming one of them
- How to get some one-on-one time with the friend of your friend (I only ever get to be around Rex in the group, while I'm with Lance)
Any ideas you have would be just lovely!
Yours Truly,
The Closer
7 comments:
As an apartment, we seem to attract a lot of girls who hang out with us to the point of almost "being one of the guys". Out of those girls, a few have become girlfriends. I think eventually the girl gets a little flirty with the roommate she likes, the roommate is interested and is already really comfortable with her. From there its easy to start dating. One marriage has even come from "one of the guys" girls. That being said, often times it doesn't work. The fact he doesn't talk about "hot chicks" around you is a good sign. After awhile, if you are a little flirty, he will ask you out... or you can be sure he's just not interested.
Make it very obvious that while you're one of their friends, you are definitely not one of the guys. Next time you show up to hang out, look hot in a "feminine" way (insofar as you feel comfortable--don't wear heels you can't walk in or anything). It seems like you hang out at their place a lot; do you ever invite them to hang out at yours? Do that, but make sure Rex is the primary point of contact on the invitation phone call/text. And as always, a little background research never hurt anyone. Is there ever a time when you can just "happen to drop by" when Rex is the only one home? Basically you want to make sure he sees you as a separate entity rather than an extension of his roommates. Good luck!
I make it a rule to never talk about other girls with guys that I'm interested in. If they feel comfortable talking to me about other girls in their life, then I know I'm strictly in the friend zone- not really a place I want to be.
Or if they do start talking about "hot girls" in my presence, I make it into a joke, which is probably the worst thing I could do, but at least I get some enjoyment out of it :)
I am loving these comments, keep em coming!
Anonymous #1- any tips on some great ways to flirt when you see them all the time?
#1-flirt, flirt, flirt, flirt, flirt, flirt, flirt. How to flirt? Always sit next to them, or, if you're the one already sitting, leave an open spot next to yourself. Break the touch barrier. Touch their arm or knee playfully, sit close enough that sometimes you "accidentally" touch. Joke around. Side note: I was in a similar situation with my now husband--friends with his whole house of roommates, but I liked him (it didn't hurt that he liked me too, but here's what I did). Sat next to him, played cat's cradle with him once (touch barrier), asked him to sit next to me, read calvin and hobbes comics on his laptop...they were so small, we had to be close, etc. Also, look cute, it never hurts.
#2-Make a move! Chat him on facebook, or message him, or wall post him, or text him. Invite just him over to do something with you and your roomies, like decorate sugar cookies or cupcakes. If you are all together, volunteer to go get a redbox movie, or go on a frosty run, or candy run, and say, "I'm feeling like frosty's, Rex, you want to go grab frosty's for everyone with me?" etc., etc.
I have so many guy friends, and a lot of times it becomes me and the guys, and sometimes I love, others I don't, but when I start to feel less feminine I will cook for them (because let's be real boys can't cook, or at least mine can't) and then they kind of remember that I am the girl. Another thing is I "flirtly" tell them how hott they look, kind of joking but also kind of seriously, or even ask where they got there outfit from because it looks really good on them!
Ask them to help you cook. Great time together even in a crowded room, they learn future dividends or can showcase skills and you accomplish something as a couple. Also ask them to teach you how to do a dance and if they don't know it pull it up on the internet and learn it together.
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