After my nightcall with Henry I was feeling loads better about life and I was trying my darndest to not fret over the date with Sam. I was also wondering if Henry and Sam had chatted about the phone calls that went down last Sunday.

Sam shed some light on that when he texted me on Monday commending me for “getting straight up” with Henry. He went on to say Henry deserved it for being so boneheaded and Sam had told him so last week. Then he said the oh-so-famous lines “he’s just inexperienced.”

Let me just say that comment INFURIATES me. I told Sam that I was tired of guys using the excuse of being inexperienced to do whatever they want to someone else. At some point you just need to be a decent person. 

Now can we talk about how weird it is that they are not only talking to each other about this, but Sam is telling me what they are talking about? It’s not ok.

Friday night Sam picked me up and we headed to a local used bookstore. Yes, this was another bookstore date. I can't help myself!

We traveled up and down each aisle picking up our favorite reads trying to convince the other why this novel would change their soul when we both came upon The Great Gatsby and uttered the same quote allowed. It was possibly the nerdiest moment I’ve had and I would re-live it any day.

Afterwards we had a solid conversation about our lives and families and passions. Honestly, I wasn't expecting much from this date and it shocked me how much I enjoyed being around Sam. And while I don’t like comparing the guys I date, it was hard not to notice Sam was more apt to dig deeper then Henry.  

Does this mean I like him? Maybe. I just don’t know. 

-The Bluestocking

After sacrament we had a brief 5 minute flirt fest that sent me reeling. How dare he flirt with me? How dare he act as is he has done nothing wrong while I have to sit through relief society and listen to Lucy Steele go on and on about how Henry needs her and how she helps him through all his problems because he’s a dumb dumb.

I didn’t completely disagree with her.

When I got home from church I noticed I had a missed call from Sam. I snapped. Here I was caught in this uncomfortable situation, complaining that I had no control, when I realized I have control. This is my life and if I want answers then by golly I will get my answers.

I quickly sent a “we need to talk text” to Henry. He texted me back, but I knew this was something I needed to hash out voice to voice. That’s when I called him and calmly said that I deserved an explanation as to why a guy would date me for over two months, plan a date the following week, stand me up, and then go back to flirting with me on Sundays. 

I believe I even laughed because why not sound crazy. 

Henry decided to use the cliché and disappointing excuse that he "forgot" the date we spent a day planning. Then he said he felt like I didn’t have feelings for him so he stopped liking me. Classic.

Ok. Now I would have accepted that from past guys, but I felt like I was different with Henry. The week before he decided I didn’t like him, I invited him to watch a movie with me, then I invited him to dinner, AND THEN I asked him to the girl ask guy dance. 

Yeah…it would be really hard gauging a girls feelings when she continues to ask you to do stuff with her.

But I didn’t bring any of this up, and this is why. Midway through his explanation something inside of me just clicked off. It was as my brain flipped the “I like Henry” switch and I was done. In that moment I just felt that I was so much better that the pathetic excuses this man-child was offering me.  

Also, I need to say this. I know Henry's a good guy. I honestly do. I know he lacks dating experience and he probably didn't know how I was feeling, but I wish he would have handled it differently. 

He could have easily said, “hey I didn’t feel like we were a good match and I’m sorry I wasn’t upfront about how I was feeling.” Boom. It’s not that hard. Now I get to analyze all of my actions on our past dates. Could I have been more forward? Why did I keep holding back? Is it possible that this is kinda sorta my fault??

The blame game's a hoot. 

Once I hung up with Henry, I called Sam back only to realize he was watching the game with a group of guys that included Henry. AWKWARD. Anyways, I have a date with Sam this Friday. 

-The Bluestocking

P.S Obsessed with this song and it was playing while my nightcall went down. Quite the coinky dink. 

This last Monday for FHE we had a Stake activity and Sam texted me earlier that day saying we needed to get a group to go together. Yes please. Once there Sam asked me where Henry was. I replied that he should know more than I. That quickly turned into a what-in-the-world-happened-to-you-two convo. Sam said the last he heard Henry was taking me out to dinner and I explained that that was the last I heard as well.

As I explained my past month, Sam sat shocked at his friend’s callous behavior. He finally responded that someone needed to tell Henry this was not ok and he would be the one to do it.

Then, being the friend that he is, Sam tried to defend Henry. He said that dear Henry had actually never dated anyone before and even though he seems perfectly capable; he has no idea what he is doing. To which I said even a fool knows you don’t ask a girl out and then not take her. 

We went on to discuss how nothing made sense and even though the conversation seems serious in tone, it was actually quite funny. Once we were done with that we entered into a lively hour discussing our love of literature and whether Milton was a better writer than Shakespeare.

It was a great night and Cali pointed out that Sam had learned more about my feelings and passions in one night than Henry had in two months.

After FHE, Sam and I spent the next couple of days sending each other our favorite literary essays. It was the perfect nerd fest. Sam is fantastic, that being said I don’t know how I feel about him, but it’s nice to have some distraction from the Henry dramalama.

But with our chats becoming more frequent, does that mean Sam has talked to Henry? And if so, what did Henry say about everything, “meh, you can have her?”

Things with Sam continued to pick up and yesterday he invited me to an impromptu drive about town. We talked Emerson, Wilde, Woolf, and even Austen. He is outstanding. And as I sat there talking to him I kept telling myself he’s fantastic he’s fantastic, but I still have this sinking feeling that something is missing. 

I think my biggest problem is Henry. I spent the last couple of months falling for a guy and entering into a relationship (if I can call it that) of ease and hilarity with someone I truly connected with. I miss us and I don’t know if you can miss someone while dating their best friend. 

-The Bluestocking

P.S. Also, I called Henry tonight... Post to follow!

Last week, Henry continued to pretend like nothing happened between us and Lucy Steele continued to live stream their blooming relationship via FB so that’s fun. Henry's doing such a great job friend-zoning me that I have trouble remembering us dating. Did it actually happen or did I make the last couple of months up? Either way, I know I need to talk to him, I'm just choosing my moment.  You know, I've heard November is a splendid time for awkward confrontations. 

Anyhoo, after spending so much time stressing over my non-relationship with Henry, I decided I needed to buck it up and be awesome. One of you commented that I needed to show him I had options AND I was thinking the same thing.  

I had an opportunity to scout out new options at Henry’s 4^th of July party which Henry invited me to. He’s the worst. I showed up towards the end. I had, after all, better things to do…ok I didn’t, but he didn’t need to know that.

I strolled into his house around 10, threw a “hey” his way and joined a group of guys in his family room for a lively chat. Can I just say it was a great night. I thought it would be terrible, but it was oodles of fun and the guys there were outstanding and included Henry’s bestie Sam whom I met while double dating with Henry.  

Saturday night we had stake conference and Sam came and sat by me. Important facts about Sam: he was an English major, he is law school bound and he sports man scruff.  After conference a couple of the guys from the night before reintroduced themselves and suggested we go grab ice cream. It ended up being Cali, me, and nine guys. The odds were most definitely in our favor.

I also need to mention that on Saturday night Mrs. Bennet came up to me and said that since Henry had meetings tomorrow morning she was worried Lucy Steele wouldn’t have a ride to stake conference and she asked me to reach out and invite her.

While no was what I wanted to say, my goal was to be awesome, and awesome I would be. I invited Lucy Steele to join our carpool and guess who never texted me back? She did however make it to conference and was happily glued to Henry the rest of the day.

After stake conference they had a dinner for us singles to mingle at. So far I had successfully avoided Hucy (Henry + Lucy and it's pronounced hussy because it makes me happy inside) all day and was on my way out when I passed a table that contained Hucy and Sam. Sam called out insisting I join them. I sat for a total of 5 minutes and pulled out my most witty and carefree self then left, but not before Sam suggested we hang out again.

Welp, I guess hanging out with Henry's bestie would be the perfect thing to make things more interesting/confusing/weird, so why not. 

-The Bluestocking 

First of all, thank you for all your comments! I was blown away when I checked the blog today. It's just nice to know I'm not the only one who's gone through this. And while the non-date went down a week and a half ago, I’m still trying to decide what I can live with: the not-knowing or the possible rejection. The biggest problem is I want to know, but I’m a pansy and he’s continued to flirt with me since. Also, all kinds of weirdness has been happening as of late so I’m going to try and get you caught up this week.

The week after the non-date Henry got himself a little fan. Let’s call her Lucy Steele.

Lucy came into the picture about a month ago and while I knew she had a thing for Henry's friend, I never thought she would jump ships especially if I was in the picture. Well that changed last week when she decided to make it very apparent something is happening with ol Henry. His facebook for the past week and a half has been peppered daily with inside jokes, pictures, and comments commending him for his good looks. No joke, she literally commented on several of his old profile pictures about how handsome he is. 

I’ve decided to be the bigger person and bottled up my feelings in a healthy fashion. So at last week’s FHE when Lucy Steele came up to me I plastered on a happy face and asked her how her weekend was. She went on to not only tell me the details on her weekend, but to list all the things her and Henry had been up to that week. Things that Henry and I had previously planned to do together.

You may be thinking, oh Lucy probably didn’t know you and Henry were a thing. Um, no, she did. We’ve actually talked about it before. She’s truly a delight. And I got to stand there as she went on and on talking about how much fun they were having.

The only thing that could have made the situation worse was if Henry came up. Which is what happened. He high fived both of us and stayed around to flirt for about 10 minutes. When he went to leave, Lucy asked him to come over later that night to help her with something.

Needless to say I picked up Ben and Jerry’s before I started writing this post. 

-The Bluestocking

After the confusion that was the ward camp-out, things with Henry changed. It felt like someone smacked him upside the head and told him to step up. Bless that culprit. The week that followed we spent more time together and I even asked him to the stake girl ask guy dance. Granted Cali was in charge of it and basically forced me, but still I asked a guy out. It was a big deal.

Sadly he was gone that weekend so the dance didn’t happen, BUT he did say he would make it up to me with dinner and an adventure that next Friday and we spent the day hashing out the details to our coming date.  

With Henry gone that weekend, we kept in contact with witty texts throughout the day. On Sunday I had rando girls approaching me to declare they were pro Blenry. It was as if overnight we had become that ward couple that people rooted for/despised. I kinda loved it. AND maybe, just maybe, this would make Henry’s friends stop asking me out.  

I went to FHE excited for a Blenry reunion, but twas not so. Instead Henry got to know another girl. To say I was hurt is an understatement. I decided to keep calm and wait for Friday’s date to see what was going on.

But then something funny happened. And by funny I mean devastating. He didn’t take me out for our planned Friday date. He simply ignored me. No texts. No calls. Nothing.

So I spent Friday night watching When Harry Met Sally on t.v. and downing the biggest milkshake I could find in town. At least I’m eating again? On Sunday a family obligation took me from a run in with Henry and instead left me with family members tormenting me with questions like “How’s Henry?” and "You had a date this weekend, right?".

It was definitely a low point.

Now here’s the thing, I didn’t realize you could date someone for over two months and have them ignore you. I feel ever relationship passes a point where you can’t just walk away without a word and we passed that point a month ago.

What’s a girl to do: confront him or take a hint and leave him alone?

-The Bluestocking

The annual ward campout was a trying two days. While I wanted to drive up with Henry, he played the dutiful son and went early to set up. I drove into the campsite later that night, spotting Henry waiting for me in the main building. As he approached a weird vibe descended. It was as if we were meeting for the first time; each unsure what to say or how to act. The events that followed proved we were a little too content to hang out with other people instead of each other.

Towards the end of the night I found myself sitting with Calvin and Cali when I looked up and there was Henry crossing the room to settle in beside me and finally the weird vibe dissipated.  

The one on one time was exactly what we needed, but as our conversation continued on I had the nagging worry Henry was turning me into his little fan girl instead of his equal. I’m all for listening to a guy’s tales of glory, but I need to at least get a word in edgewise. Even with this thought going through my head, I was hoping we might stay up and get to the bottom of all the confusion.  But as everyone headed for bed, Henry abruptly got up and left without a word.

I went to bed frustrated and woke up in foul mood, but I was determined to make the most of my time in the woods.  I spent the morning playing games with a group of guys, and Henry was nowhere to be found. On my way back to my tent I ran into Henry who announced he was going hiking with a group of friends. I waited for a “you should come” but apparently that was a silly assumption.

I spent the rest of the day thoroughly confused. And the confusion doubled when Smitie, Henry’s cousin, called me up to go on a lunch date. RAGE.

I told Smitie I was still in the mountains, because I was, and went in search of something to punch.

After my fruitless plight to punch, I went back to the guys I was with before and had a smashing morning. Who needs Henry to have fun! Ok I do...but I’m working with what I have. I also got trapped into a grand two hour convo with the leaders about what more I should be doing to snag my eternal mate. 

I stayed up that night worrying about my next interaction with Henry. Did his behavior on the campout mean he wasn't feeling us anymore? And if that was true, how in the world was I going to make it through church without having a mini breakdown. 

That Sunday I entered the chapel and swiftly made my way to my bench, head down, heart pounding. I barely had time to open the program when I saw Henry approaching from the side. I stood up to greet him and his arm went around me and the flirting commenced. I guess that’s a good sign? After sacrament I passed the library which contained not just Henry, but Smitie. Henry, upon seeing me, called out insisting that I not only join him but I stay by his side. Smitie refused to make eye-contact.

I’m a terrible person. A happy person, but a terrible one all the same. The happiness level doubled when Henry joined me for a movie that night. Maybe I was worrying for nothing.

-The Bluestocking

I guess it’s not a true summer of EFY unless you have a little bit of relationship drama.

Mine all started on Tuesday when a 16-year-old started concocting schemes in her head. I didn’t realize at the time just how out-of-control and hilarious these schemes would get.

Like my kids last week, my new batch of teenagers had already started trying “shipping” my co Melbourne and I by Monday night. (I learned a new phrase that’s popular among the 14-18 year old crowd: when someone wants you and another person to hook up, they are “shipping” for you) Funnily enough, it was mainly the boys this time saying things like, “Oooh, Charmer, you and Melbourne danced really well together during orientation. I bet he’d love to dance with you again tomorrow night…”

Now, just FYI, this isn’t another story like last week’s. I loved my co to death, but neither one of us was interested in each other. We were totally both in the friend zone….which was PERFECT. No, things in my love life got interesting when one of my girls Isabelle came to me Tuesday and said, “Charmer, I really like Melbourne, but the two of you just aren’t right for each other. I’ve started making a list of other counselors that I think are a better match.”

This list quickly got narrowed to one counselor in particular: Logan. Now, technically Logan wasn’t a counselor; he was a BC. For those of you unfamiliar with EFY lingo, this means that he was in charge of running a lot of the programs and behind-the-scenes stuff for the week. He was also kind of a “counselor for the counselors” and had a group of male counselors that he was in charge of taking care of during the week. Of course, he just happened to be Melbourne’s BC. When Isabelle first brought up his name, I didn’t think much of it. Yeah, he was super cute, but I honestly hadn’t had him or anyone else on my radar at all mainly because hello, I’d already met the man of my dreams [Nevada] last week.

Well, Isabelle and a couple of my girls ended up being even more relentless than my kids last week. When I told them I didn’t even know how to flirt or talk to boys anymore, they took it upon themselves to help me out. On Wednesday morning we happened to be the last ones to leave breakfast and as we left, they noticed him sitting with another BC in the cafeteria. I was barely out the door when Isabelle grabbed me and said, “We HAVE to go back inside. This is the perfect opportunity for you to catch Logan’s eye.” We’d already left, so I told her no way!, but somehow they managed to convince me to go back under the premise that they had left something behind. So here I am, accompanied by my two 16-yr-old wingmen, strutting past where Logan is sitting to grab an imaginary left-behind phone. And you know what? When I walked by and HE was the one who looked up an initiated a “Hey!” and friendly wave, it felt good. Really good.

And from that point on, I didn’t try to shut down Isabelle’s scheming. I kind of found myself starting to crush on the kid. I didn’t interact with him as much as I did with Nevada last week, but every time we DID have an interaction, I was really impressed with him. Because 16-year-olds aren’t known for keeping secrets, word quickly spread to all of our kids that there was another man on Mom’s radar. Hilarity ensued within our little “family” of kids this week as the girls all started to pull for #TeamLogan while the boys refused to leave #TeamMelbourne. It wasn’t uncommon to hear phrases like, “Mom, [that’s referring to me], what do you even SEE in Logan? He’s not my real dad! Isn’t dad [Melbourne] enough for you?” A personal favorite was when some of the boys started telling Melbourne to ask me on a date and he said, “Guys, I think she’s interested in someone else.” One of the boys said to the others, “It’s okay everyone, Mom and Dad are just going through a rough patch right now.” [You gotta love EFY kids]

But it didn’t end there. I started noticing that Logan actually did seem a little bit interested. He always made the effort to say hi and complimented me a few times during the week. Finally, I started to notice that he would blush every time our company walked by. Of course, my girls noticed it too, and finally Isabelle decided to admit, “Charmer, earlier today I went and found Logan and told him that he should ask you on a date.” Umm….wait a second….you did WHAT?!? No wonder the poor kid had started blushing.  I found out soon after that the blushing wasn’t only due to Isabelle’s relentless schemes. At Friday during lunch, one of the female BCs motions me over and asks, “Hey, so do you think Logan is cute?!” My immediate response was, “Oh my gosh, did my girls talk to you?!” She looked at me, puzzled. Surprisingly, they hadn’t, and apparently the whole BC team had independently decided that Logan and I needed to hook up. So after exchanging a few words with me, I watch helplessly as her and one of the other male BCs walk over to Logan and let him know that he should definitely be considering a date with me. On Friday night, I found out that Logan had been approached separately four different times during the week about going on a date with me by BCs, my girls, our coordinator for the week, and even my co!! They were all in it! The poor kid. I couldn’t help but feel a little embarrassed for him. I would be lucky if he ever wanted to speak to me again.

Luckily, though this COW story [crush-of-the-week] has a happy ending. On Friday night at the dance he DID in fact ask me to dance during the last slow song (usually there are 1 or 2 dances where the DJ calls a “COUNSELOR DANCE!” and counselors are allowed to dance together.) My girls were speechless with joy and proceeded to snap pictures of us the whole time. Even my co Melbourne was jumping up and down and giving me thumbs-up. I’ve got to admit, I did look pretty happy in the pictures they took.  

Because EFY sessions are only a week, often the end of the session means the end of crushes like this since half the time you won’t work around each other again during the summer. However, as Isabelle and the rest of her crew were excited to discover, Logan and I are working the same session this coming week. It’s a pretty small, intimate session and I wish I could tell you exactly where it is because it’s fan-freakin-tastic. (But hey, I do TRY to maintain my anonymity on this blog)

But here’s the real kicker: guess who else is working the session?

Nevada.

Yup. Time for a little more wildness in my love life.

xoxo,

the charmer

After I broke things off with James, things got all kinds of magical with Henry. I had never before been in a relationship where I was calm. I felt like we just fit and there was nothing I needed to worry about. I finally realized that dating didn’t mean awkward confusing conversations and internal doubt. This was the first guy in a long time that I felt like I could possibly have a future with.

Nutsy I know.

Our dates ranged from going to concerts to binge watching Sherlock, but my favorite was one that took place on a dried up lake, our dried up lake. We found the lake weeks before and came back for a night of games. By the end of the night it was just us sitting in the middle of the lake trying to cheat our way to victory in Spot It. I won by the by.

Fast-forward a couple weeks and I started likening our relationship to the movie groundhogs day. The movie where Bill Murray lives the same day over and over and over...

I was Bill Murray and every week in the Henry and Blue saga was exactly like the one before.

 Sunday: Henry chats me up before and after Sacrament meeting.

FHE: Hang out with Henry during activity.

Wednesday: Invite Henry to dinner with friends.

Thursday: Henry asks me out for Saturday.

Saturday: Date night.

And this kept going week after week with nothing progressing. Maybe I’m mistaken, but at some point shouldn’t we be hanging out more? Maybe texting more? Maybe doing anything more?

Don’t get me wrong, things with Henry were great, but our first date was the same as our seventh. And our relationship, while fun, needed a splash of depth added to it. And I guess what was really missing was either one of us saying “hey, I like you.”

It would have been great to feel secure in us.

But we had a ward campout coming up and it seemed like a little getaway with Henry might help things immensely.  

-The Bluestocking

Knowing I had to end things with either Henry or James and actually doing it were two totally different things. Why couldn’t I be normal and just date several guys at a time? Or better yet, why couldn’t I have met them at different times?!

I finally decided that after four weeks of chatting I needed to end things with James.

Things were just more natural with Henry and I didn’t have enough time to develop anything with James before I passed out from the crazy’s…oh wait, I already did that.

I decided that I wanted to do this the right way and tell it to him straight. I explained that I was dating someone else and I felt smutzy dating both of them. And even though I realized dating more than one guy is what we’re supposed to do, I wasn’t emotionally equipped to handle the pressure. I then apologized for being the worst.

James thanked me for being upfront and said it was ok.

I felt bad, but I had been an adult and taken control of my dating life and I was proud of how everything went down.

That feeling lasted for about two days, until James messaged me saying he didn’t know why he was doing this, but he wanted me to know it was enjoyable getting to know me and he felt bad for taking up my time when I was interested in someone else.

I explained that he hadn’t taken up my time and I loved our month spent together.

I should not have said that. I repeat: I should not have said that.

That threw us into an hour convo about how he doesn’t know why it’s such a big deal for me to date two people while I tried to explain my crazy. It ended with him saying I was confusing him and asking if I still wanted to keep dating. To which I responded I did not.

It was awful.

The worst part was I couldn’t say, I don’t like you, because I did like him, that was the problem. For the past month I had thoroughly enjoyed our fb messages, but my mental/physical health couldn’t handle it. Which makes me sound loony toons, but it’s the truth.

Now whenever he sees me at church he walks in the opposite direction. Understandable, but not subtle. Last week I was standing in one of the aisles while he tried to sneak behind me. I turned to made eye contact and his response was to look at me, stop mid-step, turn around and continue on down a different aisle.

Awkward: 24

Bluestocking: 0  

-The Bluestocking

For those of you who are considering being an EFY counselor, I would HIGHLY recommend it. It is seriously the BEST JOB EVER. I also have a couple pieces of advice for you to live by:

a)   Get ready to live out of a suitcase and be very, very tired. And don’t expect to have any REAL breaks. [This weekend, my “day off” was split between hanging out in an airport and snoozing on a plane heading back to Salt Lake from my outside-of-Utah EFY session. Then I get to jump right back in again tonight!]

b) Don’t fall in love with your co-counselor.

Obviously, since this is a dating blog, I am going to be focusing on point b. Because despite the fact that in my last post I claimed that I had no love interests, due to my ever humorous and ironic life, one showed up this week.
I must confess that I did not take my own advice. This week, I fell head over heels for my co.

First off, two important things happened on Sunday before the EFY week started. One was that in relief society, our teacher had us make the classic “what traits do we want in our husband” list. I hadn’t made one in a while and it was cool to see how my perspectives have changed since serving a mission (aka every bullet point was something spiritual with none of that “6’3” with brown hair” business). Another important thing that happened last weekend occurs every Sunday night as an EFY counselor. After a training meeting and a fireside, you get the list with your kids’ names on it and you get paired up with your co-counselor(s) for the week. Finding out the name of your co is definitely the most anticipated part of the evening, and a counselor’s reaction always falls into one of these three categories:

(1)”YESSSS!!!”,
(2)“…Wait, who is that?”, or
 (3) “…really…?! Ugh. Oh boy. Here we go.”

My reaction when I got paired with my new co Nevada fell into category 3. Yes, my initial thoughts were, “…Really? Of course it would be him. Of course.” I didn’t know much about Nevada, but from what I’d seen of him the week before he seemed kind of arrogant. [Yes yes, I KNOW I shouldn’t judge people; it’s one of those lovely character flaws I am trying to work on!]

Well, despite the Pride and Prejudice beginnings to our friendship, the long story short is that the week ended up being one of the very best weeks of EFY I’ve ever had. We were a dynamic team, we had great co-ship unity, we taught really well together, and our company ROCKED.

And…oh yeah, I also ended up hard-core crushing on him. As preconceived judgments tend to be, mine were totally wrong, and he ended up being a really sincere, humble, and all-around awesome guy. But here’s the crazy thing—remember that list I made on Sunday? Throughout the week, he would literally say things that would make me do a double-take and wonder if this was some kind of divine joke since the things he said were word for word what I had written down. When I finally re-read the list on Thursday night, I realized with a shock that Nevada fit everything on it. This boy was quite possibly my dream man! After all, not only did he fit all the spiritual things I am looking for, but the boy can sing. And dance. My little heart could hardly handle it.

Of course, our kids caught on pretty fast that we seemed to be a good match and were relentless in their efforts to hook us up. If I even talked to another guy counselor during the week, I was met with the hurt faces of my kids accusing me of “cheating on Nevada!” Rather than finding it annoying, I found it hilarious. Besides, if I’m being honest, I liked it just a little bit because it meant I wasn’t the only one that thought we were a fabulous match.

But here’s the thing. Nevada was not interested. Sure, there were a few moments where he’d get a little flirty or play up our relationship for the kids, but the whole time he had his eye on another counselor. [This was confirmed when he chose to sit by her for the busride back to the airport rather than me.]

So my question is….what’s a girl to do? Should I just chalk it up as a loss and realize that I’ll probably have at least one more crushworthy co this summer? It’s tempting to admit defeat and take that option…but Nevada fit everything on my dang list. How often does that happen?

What would you do?

xoxo,
the charmer

The week following the FHE fiasco, James and I were in hourly contact and Henry and I had hung out almost every night. By the weekend I was feeling thoroughly smutzy and had stopped eating. Not kidding. I had lost about 10 lbs and my nightly rest was a joke. Every morning I woke up at 3 AM thinking “remember that time you were a terrible person? Yeah, you’re never sleeping again.”

I couldn’t help but feel my body was allergic to dating. 

During the week the boys wanted to plan out our dates, but their approaches were entirely different. James would send messages asking me to tell him when I was free and to plan something for us to do. Um…no. Once again, not my job. Henry on the other hand, took me to Barnes and Noble after our dinner on Wednesday so we could scout out abandoned villages we could explore for our date. 

It was like we were in a movie.

On Friday, James and I had decided to go to one of my favorite used bookstores and just wander about. It was great. I mean how can you not enjoy being surrounded by books with a handsome guy in tow? Our date made me realize how much I love that James does ask me so many questions. It's a wonderful feeling to have someone want to know you. And you guys, I can’t resist a fellow book nerd. I just can’t. Especially one as attractive as him *sigh*. 

Saturday morning Henry picked me up for our date which would include exploring and waterfalls. We drove for about two hours and did the whole, what music do you like, bit and we’re basically hipster soul mates. The rest of the day was spent splashing about in the sun.

Just like the previous date, we had a fantastic time with each other. Usually when I’m with a guy I feel the need to fill the awkward silences that tend to pop up, but I can’t remember any point of the date when I wasn’t laughing.

Oh wait, yes I can.

After our little hike I was feeling…not so great. I’m not sure if it was all the exercise, the blaring sun, or the fact I had barely eaten in weeks, but things were going downhill. That feeling quickly progressed to “I’m either going to pass out in this guy’s car or throw up... or both.”

I told Henry I felt a tad deathy and had him pull over at a sketchy nearly abandoned restroom. I then spent forty minutes passed out on the concrete floor of that restroom. Once I was able to stand again, I sheepishly wandered back outside to the car to find Henry there waiting with powerade.

We laughed the rest of the way home, because really what else can you do. Once we got to my house I had to cut the goodbye short so I could run in, throw up powerade, and spend some quality time on my carpet. 

Other than the vomiting, the date went really well.

At my house I was able to check my phone which contained several messages from James asking how my day was. At this point I knew I had to do something. I couldn’t go into round three with each guy knowing that I would only fall deeper and deeper in like with both of them.

Also, I needed to gain some weight back. I believe my mother put it best when she said “you look terrible.” Oh Moms.

-The Bluestocking

The FHE following my two dates with Henry and James was a stake wide picnic. When I got there I immediately saw Henry and he told me to grab some food and sit by him. I love how unawkward it is being around him. We ate dinner and he casually brought up the fact we needed to go on another adventure. I agreed and we joked about the various options. Then I left to go through a blow up obstacle course because I’m nine-years-old.

When I got off the ride I saw several FB messages from James, no he still didn’t have my number, asking where I was. I sent out my location and he found me within minutes. This time our conversation was different. He was responding to everything and it was if our in-person interactions were catching up to our intimate FB messaging. At one point he brought up the fact we needed to go book shopping together. Oh dear heavens, yes please. This was my kind of date. Now I began to think that maybe, just maybe, this could work out.

I no sooner thought that then I saw someone approaching from the side, Henry,

Henry: “James! Hey, how in the world do you know Blue?”

James: “Wait, you know Blue too? How do you guys know each other?”

And there I was, sweating.

Henry: “Blue, you are so lucky to know James. He is beyond amazing.”

James: “No it’s Henry that’s truly fantastic.”

Me: still sweating

They went on to talk about why they thought the other person was the bees knees while I turned into a puddle of perspiration.

But it didn’t end there, for the next 30 minutes they talked about how we should all hang out. I mean what could be more fun than that?!

 

Eventually, James left and Henry and I stayed to talk for another 30 minutes and plan a midweek movie night. After I left, James texted me asking where I had gone. I don’t know how people date more than one person at a time, but I am drowning in my own sweat over here. 

-The Bluestocking

I spent Saturday worrying about this when my phone lit up with Henry’s name strewn across it. What the devil. I gave myself 3 seconds to calm down so I could answer without sounding like I'd been sucking helium.

Henry apologized for the short notice and asked if I would be interested in going on an adventure with him that night. An adventure so epic I would remember it for years to come…or at least that’s how he described it. I said yes of course and began planning the perfect outfit to go with said adventure. 

That night he picked me up, because he knows better than to have a girl meet him on a date, and we went to a forest filled with lakes. I know this sounds like it’s leading into a horror film setup where I barely escape with my life, but just stick with me because it’s better than that.

We got to the forest and turned into 13-year-olds running about exploring in the dark.  Everything was easy and we went from talking about political issues to our most embarrassing moments. I’d never been more comfortable on a date in my life. I didn’t feel like I needed to put on a show and everything just flowed.

After wandering about for a couple of hours we went and grabbed some froyo or as I like to call it the Mormon night cap. While enjoying my frozen dessert I realized this was quickly turning into a 5 hour date and oddly enough I was dreading the end to such a wonderful night. 

Now was time for the door scene. I hate it. Even the best dates are ruined by an awkward hug or even more awkward: the non-hug. But this time was different, we laughed up to the door step and the hug was quite nice if I do say so myself.

I laid awake Saturday night wondering what my life had become. For the first time in years I had two dates in one weekend. And what’s more, I liked both boys. Bonkers. I’m sure for most girls this was a regular occurrence, but I was not like most girls.

That Sunday I expected to have the traditional awkward after-first-date-interaction with Henry. You know that interaction with the guy you just went out with where you both don't know how the other one is feeling so things are a tad strained and you feel nauseated? Yeah, maybe I'm the only one that feels that way...anyhoo, Henry immediately came up to me when I got to church and said "remember that time we had a fantastic adventure." And I basically swooned.

Gosh I like him. 

-The Bluestocking

I was unusually calm about the date with James. I mean we had after all spent weeks chatting all day via Facebook. Yes Facebook, he had yet to ask for my number. Is that concerning? Anyway, the plan was to go to dinner and he was going to pick the place.

On Friday he asked me if I wanted to just meet him there or have him pick me up. I never knew we had a choice. I decided to drive myself and here’s why, I shouldn’t have to tell a guy he needs to pick me up for a date: that’s not part of my job description.

When I got to the restaurant I couldn’t see him waiting in the front area so I went and sat outside. Couples kept staring at me probably wondering if I was getting stood up. I was wondering that myself. I finally messaged him to find that he was already at a table looking through the menu and sipping water.  

The conversation throughout the night was…interesting. Every time I asked a question he would give me a vague answer and then ask me a series of probing questions. It was as if he didn’t want to say anything about himself. At first this was fine, but it started to drive me batty.

Me: Why did you choose that major?

James: Why not?

Me: Do you like your job?

James: I don’t hate it.

Me: Do you like movies?

James: Sure.

Maybe he’s just not a chatty person? The only problem with him playing Mr. Cool and Elusive is it put the spotlight on me. So I turned into a one woman show which is one of my least favorite things to do. It results in me doing far too many voices and expressions like this:

Or this

Basically I turn into a character Kristen Wigg has played on SNL. After all, who wouldn't want to date this?

Anyways...we ended the night by hugging in front of the restaurant and going our separate ways. If I had to guess what he was feeling I would say he didn’t enjoy himself and he hates my face.  

I didn’t do an after date text because I never do them. Whoops. But an hour later he sent me one telling me he had a great time. Did you?

Did you!

-The Bluestocking

P.S. Can I also mention he looked great, because he did.  I liken him to a CW actor.

I’ve been away for about two months and I can’t wait to update you on all of my adventures. Adventures which include me scandalously (but not so scandalously) dating two friends, me not so successfully breaking up with a guy, and then me deciding dying alone doesn't seem like the worst option. 

It’s been an exhausting two months.

When we left off I was being pursued by the ever so attractive James while Mrs. Bennet was figuratively and literally pushing me towards her son Henry.

At this point in time James and I were in constant communication. Our conversations were deep and fascinating and usually about literature *sigh*. I can’t tell you how refreshing it was to talk to him. But more than that, he was a wonderful constant in my life. I knew that at 10 each morning I would receive a message from him and we wouldn’t stop chatting until I set my alarm for the next morning. 

That Friday James and I made dinner plans and I went into the week feeling bold. I had after all a date with an attractive someone who I actually liked and confidence was most definitely in the air.

For some reason that boldness directly me to Henry.  I couldn’t shake the feeling that something was meant to happen between us and I wanted to pursue the possibility of us before things picked up with James.

Wow that was cheesy.

Anyways, at FHE I was walking by Henry and it hit me, why not just talk to him? So that’s what I did. The simplicity of that moment kills me.  I didn’t rub his elbow or send love darts out of the ol peepers; I simply laughed and had a great time.

The next morning I woke up to a funny message on my Facebook wall from Henry. I quickly sent out victory texts to my friends because that’s just what we do.

Wednesday rolled around and I decided to kick the bold up a notch by inviting Henry via FB to a casual weekly dinner with my friends. I felt sick the second I sent it and the sickness increased every minute until he replied that he would love to come.

Dinner on Wednesday was fantastic, other than the initial awkwardness of having both Calvin and Henry in the same room. (Oh yeah, Calvin was there. I should have thought out the logistics a bit more).The night was a blast and he fit right into my group of friends, we even ended up standing outside of the restaurant for an hour laughing. Did I mention how much we laugh? I feel like I should.

We laugh a lot. I love it. I love every second of it. 

I feel like Henry’s the type of guy that people just get along with. He’s funny and has a dynamic personality plus he just seems comfortable being nerdy, possibly because he knows how awesome he is. Mostly, I just love the way I am around him.

That night I resisted contacting Henry. I had done my part and I needed to let the chips fall where they may.

Apparently the chips were in my favor because on Thursday morning he sent me what can only be called an after date FB message thanking me for inviting him and asked for my number. We spent the rest of the day texting, because he has my number, because he asked for it. 

-The Bluestocking