Is this thing on?
Oh hello there lovelies. Fancy running into you here.I type these words as though it's a coincidence running into you here when the fact is that I have deserted you dear readers for far too long. Fortunately, you have all had the most grand privilege of reading the delectable details of the other Anti-Austenites' love lives as I've been away.
And where is it that I've been dear readers? Well for the most part binge watching LOST and The West Wing while eating sweet potato pizza. Alone. In my apartment. In South Korea. (After diligently teaching English to lovely Korean children all day of course)
People constantly ask about my love life here. But as always, there is nothing to tell. Maybe there was a Korean man who's taken me out on several dates. But Korean dating is such an undefined wild beast for me, that I can still never make heads or tails of it. Perhaps a Korean gentleman is making advances towards me, but then again, perhaps he is just more skilled at using emoticons than Americans are. It's all very confusing.
When I tell Koreans that I have no dating life whatsoever, they seem just as perplexed as I am as to why I don't have one. (Which I find to be extremely validating).
"But you're so pretty!" (a cultural opinion, as I'm not by American standards)
"But you graduated from BYU!" (again not anything very special there)
"But you're so fun!" (ok, I do agree with them on that point. I am a barrel full of laughs)
"But you're a returned missionary!" So this last exclamation brings me to the discussion point of this blog post. In my experience (based on the spoken opinion of American men in my last BYU ward and some married American military men I've met here), guys don't like dating RMs.
But in Korea, a returned sister missionary is prized. Men here prefer to date an RM. And some parents worry that if their daughters don't serve a mission, they won't get married at all.
This has been my experience.
But this begs the question readers, what has been your experience? Is the undateable RM sister reality or myth?
Before my mission, I was the type of girl who went on multiple dates... in one day.
And now?
(insert funny joke here comparing my dating life to the California drought)
Well that's all for now dear readers. It may be another six months before I write you again. But maybe not.
Xoxo
-the Romantic
4 comments:
I think the status of female RMs is changing now that they've lowered the age. I don't think anyone should base dating a woman on whether or not she served a mission. Having said that, in the past I have heard men say that female missionaries are either AMAZING or CRAZY. But I have also heard more recently that boys won't date girls who didn't go on missions. I don't think either instant judgement is good.
I don't think your odds are hurt by the fact that you went on a mission and you really don't want to be dating someone who would rule you out just because you dedicated 2 years to serving and teaching the gospel.
I recall The Ex saying to me on multiple occasions, "A girl is so much more attractive when she knows Preach my Gospel." While obviously that's his own opinion, I've had others say similar things.
On one of the more awkward dates of my BYU experience, I told the guy I was planning to go on a mission and he said, "That makes you so much more attractive."
In the end, I'm pretty sure the kind of guy you want to marry is one who values your missionary service. The guys who don't like female RMs are probably toolbags. Either that, or they served their missions so long ago that it was in the days when "only weird girls went on missions" and thus they are much too old for you anyway.
Oh, and it sounds like our Asian lives are similar, except that I have been binge watching Sherlock and Psych. :) And no sweet potato pizza, although that sounds awesome.
I fell for (or realized that I fell for) my best friend shortly after (okay let's just say during) my mission. We've known each other for years and wanted to get married and now...she's on her mission. We still want to get married though. The point is, one huge advantage of dating RMs is that they can't suddenly can't go packing their bags in the name of the one Being you can't argue against.
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