The Lady's Year in Review
There may be someone out there who can tell the future, but I certainly cannot. As I looked forward into my year on the other side of 2014, I could not have been more misled as to what events would come my way and where I would end up at the year's end.
The greatest change that has come as of late is a change in location. Save for a necessary internship, I am finished with my masters degree. By some grand design, my internship has taken me to my rural hometown (yes, I am now living at home with my parents) where there are no eligible young men whatsoever. At least none that I have seen. Now that I have left a less bountiful city than Provo for an even more drought-ridden area, I am not certain this semester (or however long I am here) will provide any dating fodder, but I shall be present with any awkward (or perchance thrilling) stories that come my way.
Now for my own amusement (and perhaps your own), allow me to review the highlights of my year and wrap up the loose ends which abound:
The Artist--Truth be told I nearly forgot about this particular short-lived confusion revolving around The Artist. I met him at that one-day EFY thing in January. I only was with him in person once, but he asked me to go to France with him and wanted to strike up a long-distance relationship. I discovered that he liked the idea of me more than he actually liked me, so I nipped that in the bud with good reason. The Artist is now happily engaged. Mazel tov.
The Counselor--I met this unexpected man earlier this year in an institute class. His flirtations and non-flirtations with me have been agonizing. I wanted so badly to fall in love with The Counselor, but his lack of romantic advances have made it impossible. The Counselor quickly became one of my greatest friends and the saving grace of my semesters of grad school, and he admitted to feeling similarly about me, but he also let me leave without saying goodbye. I fear that what was once a great friendship and potential relationship has been obliterated.
The Englishman--Through the means of Tinder, I accomplished a life goal and wooed a British man. But due to a lack of desire to commit to a long-distance relationship or give up any of my standards, a three month text and phone call based relationship came to a fiery end.
The Southern Gentleman--A very short affair that was lovely and brought my "famine" to an end, but was also short-lived due to distance. Blast it all.
The Younger Man--A spontaneous Halloween make-out led to a bit more than I bargained for. I admit to liking The Younger Man, quite a bit, but once again we settled the should-we-date debate on the complication of (you guessed it) long distance. It just can't be done I suppose, at least not for me. Although I am planning on spending New Year's Eve with The Younger Man...I wonder what sort of fireworks will occur.
Mr. Cowboy--Mr. Cowboy is bent on ruining my Christmases. And my life. Two years ago at Christmas, he appeared on my doorstep to wish my family and me the merriest. I hid in my bedroom. Like a coward. I am ashamed to admit that it happened again. After almost two years of avoiding him, he came round again. This time he was polite enough to send me a Facebook message asking me if a visit would be alright. I told him plainly that I couldn't stop him from being friends with my family, but a visit with him and his wife was not something I would be able to bear with comfort. Somehow the cad took that to mean that he should come alone. I informed my ever-reliable sister of my immediate distress and retreated. Every room in the house was occupied, so I found refuge in my parents' bedroom. My parents have a rather monstrous bed, and while attempting to climb up, I banged my thigh into the post (I now have a healthy bruise) which quickly elicited tears from my already watery eyes. I laid upon the bed in silent pain from my clumsiness and agony from the sound of Mr. Cowboy laughing and exchanging pleasantries with my family. Again I was in hiding, and I hated it. I would have loved nothing more than to saunter into the living room and let him hug me and pretend that all was well. The truth of the matter is that all is not well. I do not trust Mr. Cowboy and I do not trust myself with Mr. Cowboy. Thus my reasons for hiding away. I do not hide out of heartbreak, but out of a lack of trust in myself to be proper. Mr. Cowboy and I were never just friends. Never. While he was dating his current wife, he held my hand and kissed me. During his mission he wrote to both of us promising what he could only give to one of us. Somehow he expects that after all of that, the two of us can be friends. It simply cannot be. Cowardly as it seems, hiding has been my only escape. If you have any better ideas, email me next Christmas with a plan of action.
That, ladies and gentlemen, was my 2014. Confusing and enlightening. Joyful and agonizing. I needed this year to prove to myself that I am made of tough stuff, that I have not lost my mettle or spunk or allure. I can only hope that 2015 brings me something better, and I wish the same for you.
See you on the other side of a grand year,
The Lady
1 comments:
I'm surprised The Counselor let you go without saying goodbye. A good friend would've sought you out! Maybe he's tginking the same thing, but still. That's weird. Also weird is The Cowboy. What on earth??
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