Ringing in the new year with a little bit of love
The
Lady posted a summary of her year's love interests (and, might I add, it is
quite the impressive list). I thought about doing the same, but as I reflected
over my year I realized that there really weren't that many boys that made a
dent in my love life this year. This is mainly because my year was made up of a
whole lot of chunks in which I seemed to distance myself from dating
situations.
January-March was spent on a mission.
Obviously no dating there.
March- May was spent feeling awkward
around guys and I literally found
myself trying to run from them on occasion.
In June-August I was an EFY counselor. This
was a deceiving time of life, since I actually thought that being surrounded by
hundreds of excited, gospel-loving EFY RMs might have resulted in a little bit
of summer lovin'. However, the truth is that working 24/7 and flying to a
different state every weekend meant that in the little bit of spare time
I did have, I was usually
sleeping. Besides, even when I did find myself interested in someone I
only ended up spending 1 or two weeks around him. Not a lot of time to
cultivate those little sparks into something bigger.
From September-December I was in China. And
despite the fact that in this country there are approximately 24 million
unmarried men around my age, most of them don't speak the same language that I
do. Thus there really aren't too many viable options for dating,
However,
mixed in amongst those dateless months were two very important weeks. One was
the week before I left for China when I met a guy who impressed me more than
any other guy I've ever met. The other was last week, when this same guy flew
5,000 miles to come and visit me when I came to the wonderful but also
distressing realization that...well....I love him.
Very
much so.
For as long as I can remember, I have been afraid of
marriage. I don't know if I could tell you exactly why, but I have definitely gone to many lengths and many excuses to avoid
it at all costs. There's just something about that level of commitment and
about putting that much trust in one person that kind of freaks me out. But
last week as I spent time around Ammon, that fear of marriage started to slip
away a little bit until it was just a tiny little speck of anxiety. And
amazingly, I was okay with that. I realized that I would very happily marry
this boy. In fact, I would even do it this year...that
is, if he wasn't going on a mission. But he is, and that is wonderful, and even
though there is a tiny selfish part of me that would like to say "umm maybe you can stay with me
instead?" I am really excited
for him.
So,
I guess you could say Operation Boyfriend-in-China was a success. It was a
blast and the time went by way too quickly. I have to confess that I was a
little unsure at the beginning and it was a little on the awkward side (hey now, look at that layout of my year again....the
majority of it has been spent being AWKWARD around boys and NOT dating them.
What did you expect?). Luckily it only took me two days to get over
it (poor Ammon) and then
things were fabulous.
So.
What now?
love,
the
charmer
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