Take it slow, Joe
Hello, my Provo dating friends!
This week's Paisley Post is brought to you by the letter G, in tribute to Art Garfunkel, who is awesome.
When you think about it, dating is kind of like running.
I ran a 10K this summer, and the song I used to start off the playlist was Simon and Garfunkel's 59th Street Bridge Song. The beginning lyrics are "Slow down, you move too fast. You've got to make the moment last..."
Those words serve me as a reminder to not go too fast at the beginning of the race and wear myself out. Chances are, I haven't prepared much for this race, and I've only stretched minimally before we begin. [It's a miracle I've yet to injure myself... knock on wood.]
"Whoa now, Colonel Paisley, I'm not gonna let you begin judgin' me! A lot of people think my relationship/engagement/marriage moved too fast! You have no right to pass judgment!"
Of course I don't. I'm not speaking to you tonight. You're part of the lucky 1% who are awesome at running and finish a 10K in 23 minutes. There are always people for whom things just "work out." They click, they find the people they are supposed to be with for eternity. Good for them. I'm glad the dating game suddenly got easy for them.
But most of us? Not so much. It's hard being the 99%. [#occupydating anyone?] And tonight I'm not going to provide some hard-and-fast rule about dating speed, but merely some insights and guidance.
In my experience and in the experiences I've witnessed, overall it is beneficial to all parties if relationships move relatively slow.
You never realized there was wisdom in that old Aesop's fable, didja?! Good ol' childhood, it was actually useful! Weird.
"Slow and steady wins the race," Aesop instructed us. Try not to take things too fast. I've seen people rush into relationships that eventually fall apart and become awkward for everyone involved. One of my really good friends started dating a girl at the beginning of the semester, but it ended quickly. Now he finds it quite difficult to have a conversation with her or her roommates.
It's never a bad thing to have time to get to know a person's emotional, intellectual, and spiritual sides before flying on into a physical relationship. If you are even mildly interested in finding your eternal companion at a certain point in life, what better way to truly know your compatibility with someone?
One of my friends, whom I consider to be somewhat of a little sister that I don't have, just started dating someone. It seems from the outside that their relationship started really quickly [within a week's span between first date and DTR]. However, they have known each other for at least a year, having developed a friendship at first that, hey cool, later blossomed into a relationship.
I myself started developing a relationship with a certain ladyfriend. We've spent plenty of time together in a variety of activities, but we are not officially dating. We haven't kissed. But things are going well, and I'm not desperately wanting to begin a physical relationship.
...I find I'm not very organized, my friends. I feel like this post could be a lot more cohesive, clear, and coherent (+3). Instead I have a lot of random examples thrown together with semi-related segues and pictures.
Two for one prizes, friends! A picture OF a Segway!Lame puns [redundant?] aside, let me summarize:
You can be happy if things move quickly. Look at the Charming Directorship. They happened relatively fast, but they're happy with their chocolate milk lunches and chin tickling. Good for them.
Look at my friend Constable Richelieu. He met a girl at a devotional, and they were engaged three weeks later. I'm really happy for them.
And on the flip side, we have people who have spent a long period of time getting to know their significant other.
And how are all these people connected?
Look at my friend Constable Richelieu. He met a girl at a devotional, and they were engaged three weeks later. I'm really happy for them.
And on the flip side, we have people who have spent a long period of time getting to know their significant other.
And how are all these people connected?
They are happy.
That is what it's all about. Can we look at our paths that took us to where we are and say, "Yeah, Paul and Art, you're right, I AM feelin' groovy!"
I basically want to say, don't feel pressure. Be happy with where you are in your life right now. If the winds of change tickle your ear and sweep you up with a person who ends up being the love of your life, enjoy it! If you invest a great deal of time in one person and you feel like the relationship is progressing, savor it! If you sacrifice incense and dead man's toes to the Brigham Young statue at a full moon and confess that you're okay with graduating college single, relish it!
You're living your lives, people! Don't feel the need to rush into something, but don't take it as slow as possible either. Find that happy pace that you and your significant other are supposed to move at, and then "make the moment last."
And listen to Simon and Garfunkel. They make everything better.
Pip pip,
Pip pip,
Colonel Paisley
P.S. [I just realized that the correct lyrics are "make the morning last," but I don't really care.]
4 comments:
Simon and Garfunkel - LOVE THEM. Also, thanks for this post, dude.
I appreciate this post, because I am one of those people who watches other relationships flying by and I wonder if that is really the wisest decision. I, like you Colonel Paisley, have decided that "to each his own" is just as applicable as "slow and steady wins the race" is to me. I know some people who got married quickly who are very happy, and some who took their time who aren't so much. But, everyone should be able to decide his own pace, and I agree that taking it slow is the best for me.
I knew your post was going to be good when it started with S & G!
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