Eyes Wide Closed

2/26/2011 The Romantic 2 Comments

I hate myself for saying this, because to compare a real life person to Mr. Collins seems to me horribly cruel.

But I know everyone of us has had some encounters with real life Mr. Collinses.

The dear Mr. Collins of our ward is so very nice and kind, but I can't help raising my eyebrows a bit when I hear stories of his ketchup sandwiches and teletubbie references.

Last night, Mr. Collins asked me to dance at our stake dance. Which was fine, I didn't mind at all! I was happy to be dancing with someone, and not standing against the wall as I did during every slow song, during every stake dance in high school.

The only awkward part was how he closed his eyes for a good portion of the song. He led me around in a gentle circle, eyes shut, with a goofy, perfectly contented, half smile upon his pointed face... This went on for a good 30 seconds.

I smiled sheepishly to myself. Was this really happening? And for goodness sakes, what I was supposed to do while he stood there dancing with his eyes closed, smiling?

Am I destined to be as Charlotte, settling for a Mr. Collins while my Mr. Darcy never shows up?

(sigh)

I'm afraid I just don't love ketchup enough for that to ever happen.

Until next time lovelies,
-the Romantic

Close Call

2/23/2011 The Romantic 5 Comments

The gathering place for our apartment is the kitchen table. People come over to visit, and we just sit around the table for hours and hours talking and laughing.

Monday night was a cacophony of sound as we all sat around the kitchen table recounting the tales of our glorious three day weekends. (Mine unfortunately, was spent doing homework.)

People stopped in and out, pausing for a few minutes to laugh and talk with us. One of my roomies even got asked out on a date while sitting at the kitchen table that night (but that's a post for a different time).

Later, as the noise settled, Guitar Hero stopped by. As per my usual behavior, I creeper loved him from across the table. Of course, the topic of dating came up.... I think it had something to do with the stake dance. Most of my roomies aren't going, and so I think I was contemplating out loud just third wheeling it with the one roomie who is going. And then someone said, "Why don't you just ask someone to go with you?" To which I replied quite dramatically, "I'm tired of chasing men, I want a man to chase me for a change." And then I think I threw my head down on the table and moaned about how men run from me... or something to that effect. It was late, and I'd eaten a lot of cookies, and done a lot of homework. I'm not quite sure my faculties were completely intact.

Here's where the panic comes in.

Guitar hero says, "That's not true. I read your blog. Guys like you."

OMGOSH! SAY WHAT!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

A deathly silence befell the normally exuberant table. I looked at him questioningly. My room mates looked at me. I looked back at them. There was nothing but awkward meaningful glances for at least 2o seconds.

I finally decided to stop ignoring the giant elephant in the room and asked, "What have you read exactly?"

"Your blog, that you post on your facebook page...."

IMMEDIATE RELIEF! He reads my personal blog, (which, although highly entertaining and insightful, does not declare my undying creeper love for him; so we're safe)

"But what was that?" he asks, referring to the awkward aforementioned meaningful glances. "Is this about your dating blog???" oh crap. oh crap. oh crap. why did i tell him i was a writer? and why did i tell him i write on an anonymous dating blog when he asked what type of writing i do?

I don't even remember how I responded, but I probably said something along the lines of: "Noooo, there's nothing on that blog... It's just silly girl stuff."

I have a horrible lying voice apparently, as he then promptly sprinted back to his apartment to search for this blog on the internet....

Luckily, he didn't find it. And hopefully, he never will.

But man, that was a close call.

ciao
-the Romantic

Written In the Stars

2/22/2011 The Eccentric One 0 Comments

So last night I tried to go to bed early, but as per usual, it didn't work. I ended up staying up until three reading about my zodiac sign.

Don't be too alarmed, I do not take astrology seriously...but sometimes it seems mostly true.

Sometimes I just really want it to be true.

I am The Eccentric One, remember? So just go with it.

Well I am an Aries--the sign of the ram, lively and adventurous. I read my 2011 report based on the alignment of stars, and this year looks pretty good. I should find success in my love life, and I can expect some of my career dreams to come true too. I can't help but think that my dream of writing a successful independent film or novel can come true and then I can date Mark Salling. It could happen right? As an Aries, I never lose my childhood ability to dream and see the world as a magical place, but don't worry, I'm not holding my breath.

Reading my horoscope is like opening up a fortune cookie. It is a little treat where the message only satisfies and entertains for a few moments...well sometimes longer when it was just that good. And really, who wants to keep their fortune a secret?

Anyway, there was also a zodiac compatibility tab. I couldn't resist clicking my mouse.

I have a really good memory, so I used birthdays to look up a few men's astrology signs. Just to see if we were meant to be.

The results seemed alarmingly true. I will not disclose which sign connections I researched because I feel that I have already revealed too much in saying that I am an Aries. What's next? The color of my toothbrush? I wouldn't dare.

"Wild and expansive imagination. When mind and emotions link, it's magical. Quirky and adventurous--it works. Life is exciting--this is a winning combination." --Universal Psychic Guild; these describe connections with different signs. Yes, I do realize I gave you an opportunity to do your research and confirm my research.

Based on my own interpretation and embellishment of current situations all of these predictions seem possible.

Is it weird that this little trip down astrology avenue gives me encouragement? I know it really doesn't mean much, but it gives me hope that there is someone out there for me, that I currently know people who I could work well with.

Mr. Whoever, just know that I hope to find you one day. Then I won't have to dream about being an Aries stuck in a storage closet on a reality TV show, I can dream about you.

If only...

2/19/2011 The Romantic 2 Comments

apparently there are still men left with romantic bones in their body.

if only I could find one that lives in Provo.

(click here)


tschussie
-the Romantic

Frustrated.

2/17/2011 The Romantic 0 Comments

I'm just going to go ahead and say a little something that might be a little taboo for some of our readers. So read at your own risk.

I would really like to make out with someone right now...

Ok. Now before you get offended, I'm just sayin' it. I won't go out and actually do it. I made a promise to myself a long time ago to only kiss someone I'm in a relationship with. And that's been a pretty safe road so far. Only two boyfriends, and only two boys kissed.

But I'm just afraid that this frustration might build up inside and then explode into awkwardness. I.e. I will end up throwing myself at Guitar Hero if I'm not careful. I almost reached out to scratch his back several times last night. Geez, I really hope I haven't been staring hungrily at his lips....

Judge me if you must, but I know several dear friends who've been in my place as well.

It's times such as these where I'm extremely glad for the anonymity of this blog...

ciao darlings
-the Romantic

Some Kind of Wonderful

2/14/2011 The Eccentric One 4 Comments

Enchanté my future friends and confidants.

I had hoped that my inaugural post would be on Saint Valentine's Day, but alas my night owl ways prevented the fulfillment of this wish. Can't this still count since I haven't gone to bed yet?

Valentine's Day has been very charming. Despite not wearing any make up and not having any secret admirers, I had a truly great day of love. I love my friends and myself, which is something to celebrate. Cookies, flowers bought for ourselves, Justin Bieber, and chocolate all topped off with An Affair to Remember banished any old tunes playing from past pity parties due to the lack of men folk.

Now on to a more formal introduction.

I am affectionately known as The Eccentric One. Sometimes it is hard to admit, but this name is always a perfect fit. Just when I think I have connected with someone, I realize that we are on completely different trains of thought, and my only destination is left field. I am not sure that my scanty experiences and opinions will resonate with all you lovely readers, but my hope is that maybe other eccentrics will see that we are not alone. As they say, everyone is crazy, some people are just better at hiding it. I rarely try to hide it anymore. We'll see how it works out or if it leads to a make out...
My dating experience adds up to only a handful of awkward nights, an almost lover of a best friend, and one man who essentially only offered me his lips. I am telling you this so you don't expect a report like this past weekend's all the time.

It was a weekend to surpass all weekends because I actually did everything I wanted to do.

Friday afternoon, I got an unexpected call from Gucci. This is a close friend from freshman year. He just got back from his mission, where he got a specially tailored white suit to match his knock-off Gucci shoes. Hence the name. Anyway, I always felt like he was the male version of me, which turns out to be much more feminine in a man--this was not all that appealing. I freaked out when I thought he maybe liked me, and then I freaked out more when my roommate started to fall in love with him. All these fears still rise up in me whenever I see him or even text him.

The call turned out better than I was expecting. Gucci's friend was doubling with a potentially overwhelmingly awkward old roommate, and wanted a wingman. As a mutual friend, with perpetually open date nights, I was called to step in.

We went to dinner and then went to the Provo Beach Resort. It may possibly be a little gem for the Provo dating scene. There is indoor surfing, need I say more? We just bowled. Which was absolutely great--I love bowling, there is something so raw and vintage in the sport. It went well for the friend, and I think it was good for me too. Nothing really happened, and because Gucci has asked me out on this kind of date, I think he is less likely to ask me out on a romantic date, and I do not have to say no (Something I can't do because, until recently, I have never really had the opportunity to. I also have guilt issues).

I also had the pleasure of attending the Peter Pan Preference Dance with The Romantic on Saturday. (That sounds like I was a creepy third-wheel to her date with Guitar Hero, but I promise I wasn't.) It was so fun and I consider it a complete success. Hopefully you want details because here they come.

I asked Reggie (to be said in a British Accent). Reggie is quickly becoming one of my favorite people. He is a boy in the ward, and we have been friends for over a year, but I am just starting to really know him. At first glance, Reggie is a simple air head with a horrendous British accent. It's worse than mine, if that is even possible. But underneath this nonchalant persona lies a smart, thoughtful, guy who is good at basically anything he tries.

I asked him by writing "Want to not grow up with me this Saturday? Preference?" on aged paper bag and wrapped the note around one of my play swords. I left it on his doorstep and ran, my heart pounding. I want to take a moment to applaud the men who court women because it takes a lot of confidence.

Literally seconds later, Reggie comes over with the sword behind his back. I rush to hide in back, but only make it the fridges. Apparently, a girl shouldn't be there when a guy comes to answer? I really don't know. Anyway, the atmosphere quickly churned into a state of painful awkwardness. My roommates kept hinting for his answer, but nothing seemed to be making sense. Eventually they just asked if he read the note. Then Reggie said he had thought he saw something on the sword with his name on it. Turned out as Reggie picked up the sword the note had fallen off the balcony to the depths of the first floor. The awkwardness--sorry to keep using this word, but it truly is the only fitting word--turned out to be funny. And I wasn't being rejected, sigh of relief.
Reggie just thought the sword meant we wanted to play, so he came over. Adorable. Just like a puppy.

The answer--when he finally figured out there was a question--was absolutely hysterical, even though it was coined and written by a dear female friend not Reggie. A pair of damp pants were set outside my door with a note that read "I Petered my Pans when you asked me...so I guess that's a yes?"

I wish Peter Pan Preference could have gone on straight 'til morning. Dancing is one of my greatest states of catharsis and it's just plain fun. I dressed as a fairy to Reggie's Peter Pan, and we both carried plastic swords. Reggie stole the night with his dance moves. He was out of control in the best way possible. At one point, he lifted me up in what is dubbed the "Simba Move." This was not only an inside joke from a true story, but also one of my favorite things ever. Nothing is better than being swept off your feet by a man.

I sincerely hope Reggie had as much fun as I did. Fun not romance was the agenda for the night, and I think that is why it went so well.

Well I hope this is the start of a very beautiful friendship. I'm not too sure about many things in my life right now, but I do know that it is all some kind of wonderful.

xoxo
-the eccentric one

Anyone up for a little romance?

2/14/2011 The Romantic 2 Comments

I'm embracing this holiday with as much enthusiasm as I can muster.

I've already eaten copious amounts of chocolate. And tonight, I'm planning on curling up with the girls to watch An Affair to Remember. I'm reveling in the holiday and loving it.

But what about you dear reader? How are you going to celebrate?

Here are some Valentine's gems to help you along:

including a throw back post from our early days about one of the most romantic moments of my life

old wedding photos

and perhaps a night out at my favorite provo restaurant will help you to celebrate tonight

oh, and just one more thing:


xoxo
-the Romantic

A Weekend to Remember

2/13/2011 The Romantic 0 Comments

There was a theory developed by Hippocrates in the 4th or 5th centuries (I can't remember exactly) that gained popularity from the 18th-early 20th centuries. This theory, more or less, stated that a woman's womb would travel throughout her body through the course of a month in search of children. As it neared her brain, she would break out into hysterical fits. Melancholic, joyous, apathetic; it could have been any mood really. This theory was just a way to explain the crazy foibles of women during the time.

We all laughed and scoffed this theory as we learned about it in class a couple of weeks ago. However, I'm beginning to think that this "wandering womb" theory holds some truth. I was an absolute crazy this last week. I kept having flashbacks to the only date I ever went on in highschool. It was horrible to say the least. I'll spare you the details, but it basically ended with my parents having spent a ton of money for me to buy a dress, tickets, and dinner, while my date spent the whole night flirting with my "best friend" at the time. I didn't like this boy, and I had only asked him because he was one of the few member boys that I knew. But I thought he should have had the courtesy to dance at least one dance with me. These old feelings came rushing back, and I convinced myself that Guitar Hero's popularity with the girls in my ward would make Saturday night a repeat of that horrid Homecoming date I had in high school. I was even getting weepy about it. I wanted to cancel then and there. My roomies said they would pour water on my head if I did.

So instead I texted my Freshman Flame, and set up something with him for Friday night instead.

Wait, what?

Yeah, I'm a crazy for sure. But you already knew that. So I had two dates set up for this weekend. Both of my own making. How's that for sticking it to the man? or men, I should say. Get it?

So the Freshman Flame and I went to a movie for my film class, had ice cream, and headed back to my place to watch a bit of the office. It was ok. Nothing special once again. We probably will hang out later this semester, but I don't know if he'll ever ask me out.

Are you ready for the low down on Saturday night? Have you been near death in anticipation for the details as much as my mother has?

Well, I had a blast.

There were more than 20 people in our group. We were all decked out in fairy, lost boy, and pirate attire. I threw a fairy costume together at the last minute, and I'm proud to say I looked quite whimsical. The night was full of pizza, dancing, and crow calls. The only bump in the road was when the fire alarm went off and we were all stuck outside for a good 20 minutes. Oh, and the time when Guitar Hero went to the bathroom right before a slow song started, so another guy in our group tried to slow dance with me and his date. Well, that was more funny than anything else.

I was a little worried for the doorstep scene. Was I supposed to take him to his door, or he to mine? This Preference stuff is confusing. He walked me to mine. And the night ended with a hug and a see you tomorrow. It was good. He's definitely someone I'd like to get to know better. But I'm not sure anything will really happen. We're very different in many ways.

Don't fret though, dear reader. I'll keep you posted.
Happy Valentine's Eve

xoxo
-the Romantic

By Way of Introduction

2/09/2011 The Romantic 0 Comments

While we wish the Virgin the most happiest of felicitations on her engagement, we regret the loss of her dating wisdom on this forum.

And so to make up for the loss, we will have new contributors joining our staff of ladies-in-writing.

(Insert the blaring trumpets here)
I would like to introduce you to the Matchmaker and the Eccentric One.

Both are dear friends, and have their own slew of bizarre dating stories here in the bubble. So please welcome them dear reader. Love them as you have loved me. (it is almost valentine's day after all)

xoxo
-the Romantic

I'm sorry I'm so addicted to blogging.

2/09/2011 The Romantic 0 Comments

But I just thought this was really funny.

xoxo
-the Romantic

Is that a yes?

2/09/2011 The Romantic 2 Comments

She also said she would give him a kiss if he liked, but Peter did not know what she meant, and he held out his hand expectantly.

"Surely you know what a kiss is?" she asked, aghast.

"I shall know when you give it to me," he replied stiffly, and not to hurt his feeling she gave him a thimble.

There was no need to fear. He said yes! By giving me a thimble... (I'm going to pause for you to squeal here)

Happy Wednesday

xoxo
-the Romantic

Should I be worried?

2/08/2011 The Romantic 3 Comments

I've never asked a boy to preference.

But I did last night.

The plan was to just go to his apartment, and say "Yo! You, me, Preference... ?" I was confident about this approach at first. I could totally ask Guitar Hero to Preference. We're friends. It's not weird. But my courage was beginning to wane.

And so my friends encouraged me to do something a little bit more extravagant, but less face-to-face shall we say. Which was good, because I was slowly becoming more and more manic as I put off the "asking" throughout the night. And I might have gone over to his apartment and mumbled out something like, "ummmmm, peter pan preference... go. me. you.... um yeah."

The new plan included a map of Neverland and fairy dust. My first attempt at a map failed miserably. And that's when my roomie's fiance came to the rescue and drew the map for me... (yeah, lame. i know) It ended up turning out really good though! On the map, I wrote, "Here's some fairy dust. How 'bout you and me fly to Neverland this Saturday?" I was quite proud of my cleverness.

After crumpling the paper and burning the edges, I rolled the pixie dust in the map and tied it with a string. I tiptoed slowly to his apartment, banged on the door, and ran away....

He got it.

But he hasn't responded... He'll answer back right?

xoxo
-the Romantic

Well This Is Awkward

2/07/2011 The Virgin 1 Comments

I have never broken up with anyone, so this is going to be a little weird...

I suppose I should start with it's not you it's me.

And maybe I met someone else, but I'm pretty definitely sure that you're not supposed to tell someone that when you're breaking up with them. But I have met someone else, and we're engaged, so... I just don't think this is going to work out. I mean you're all about being single and rehashing awkward dates. And now I have to be all about posting pictures of sad attempts to decorate married housing and cookies that I made for hubby. Total conflict of interests. I suppose we just outgrew each other. Which happens. I shouldn't drag this on any longer...


Ta ta lovelies. It's been a lot of fun/therapeutic sharing my experiences with you.

xoxo
The Virgin

The Flame Rekindled

2/06/2011 The Romantic 0 Comments

My freshman year, I had a crush on this boy. He was so mission focused that I'm pretty sure he hadn't the slightest clue that I had any inclination towards him. We parted ways at the end of Freshmen year. I was elated by the hugs I got on move out day. But that was that. And I've moved on since then. And my tastes in men have significantly changed since I was but a young 18 years.

However, we had a bit of reunion Friday night. And I'm thinking that perhaps my tastes haven't changed as much as I thought. I laughed so hard. My abs were aching by the end of the night. I tried a post-hanging out text at the end of the night. Would you like to know what I said? haha. I tried to be clever.
"Hey! Tonight was fun. Let's not wait two years to do it again. :-)"
To which he replied, "It was fun! I haven't laughed that hard in a very long time"

That's a good sign right? Could perhaps my unrequited creeper-loving crush finally be requited after two and a half years!?!? *sigh* only time will be able to tell I suppose.

In other news, I keep having these weirdly insane dreams about Guitar Hero. They usually involve us staring deeply into each others' eyes, holding hands, while confessing the most deeply romantical utterances. In the mornings, I wake up confused about my feelings. Do I love him or what? I'm wanting to bake him something... That's highly unusual for me. I don't bake for men on principle (unless we're dating of course). Besides the fact that I don't really think we're very compatible, a truck load of girls in the ward like him as well. And I'm not the type to compete. Like baking, it's against my principles.

Both flames have been rekindled. And I am at a loss! I'm hesitant to make any moves with my new found dating leper status. With men literally running away from you, it's hard to put yourself out there.

But I think my love of cuddling might outweigh any fear of rejection soon. Which could later result in a hilarious post of humiliation... So at least you guys win right?

xoxo
-the Romantic

ps. The anti-austen is about to experience some very exciting changes. Keep your eyes peeled for the announcements soon.

Because Flirting in 'Real Life' Would Just Be Too Hard

2/04/2011 The Romantic 2 Comments

We all get nervous trying to put ourselves out there. I myself, have placed a well meaning ;0) in texts and facebook posts alike when grabbing an elbow seems too much... However, this is going too far.

But it provides great entertainment for the rest of us!

Enjoy!

xoxo
-the Romantic

Happy Groundhog's Day!

2/02/2011 The Romantic 0 Comments

Yesterday, Best Friend Guy told me that whether or not I get a boyfriend this semester depends on whether or not punxsutawney phil sees his shadow. Shadow: boyfriend, no shadow: no boyfriend. This seems sound logic to me.

And drum roll please!!!!!!!

No shadow!

Bummer huh?

But I will take solace in the fact that apparently, phil's predictions are only right 39% of the time ;0)



xoxo
-the Romantic

What's the opposite of robbing the cradle?

2/01/2011 The Romantic 0 Comments

Cougar hunting perhaps?

In case you're curious, the slowest elevator on campus happens to be in the JSB. Which also happens to be where I work. Which also happens to be where a freshman was trying to hit on me this morning. He got out on the second floor, and I, on the third. As the automatic doors to the elevator slowly shut, I could see his baby face looking at me hopefully through the crack as he pitifully tried to finish the conversation he'd struck up....

I don't know if I should be flattered or insulted....

Actually, I'm gonna go with flattered!

I hope you're taking note of the irony that because I'm a BYU student, I'm a die-hard blue-bleeding cougar(even if i don't like sports that much). And I was also almost picked up by a younger man today.... oh yes, i'm a cougar through and through.

xoxo
-the Romantic