The Anti-Austen

As I journeyed to the great Idaho wilderness for Thanksgiving break, I was left with two choices: homework, or reading a novel (for fun!). I brought my homework with me, but unfortunately, my back pack remained safely zipped in my roomie's bedroom whilst jane eyre called out to me from her book shelf.

The choice was easy. Jane Eyre it was.

Living my romantic life vicariously through novels is so much the better choice than dating these days...or at least less awkward.

I viciously poured over the book for three days. Our departure loomed before us the next morning. Back to Provo, and back to above zero degree weather. I curled up in bed with the covers all around, determined to finish the tale of Jane and Mr. Rochester. But alas, I turned in with a mere 50 pages left. Right at the point where Mr. Rochester calls for Jane miles and miles away.

That is the scene that I fell asleep to.

And then I dreamed of my ex-boyfriend. "I will always need you" he said in my dream.

That is why we will not read Jane Eyre before bed again. For it never bodes well in the heart break department. I identify far too well the title character.

Well enough with the dramatics... back to studying!

(Although, I'm sure my posts will be quite numerous this week as I 'prepare'/procrastinate finals studying)

xoxo
-The Romantic

ps. for your viewing pleasure next march

No sparks, no fireworks. Nothing. Not even dislike or loathing reared their ugly faces. But at least that would have been something.

Bland... That pretty much sums up the date I had last Saturday.

Sad to say, the most exciting part was getting ready. I even curled my hair and borrowed some of my room mates "seductive spray" as she fondly calls it. And then I opened the door, and saw that I was over dressed. Well, not over dressed for the activity, but overdressed comparatively.

My friend texted me when I got home, asking me how it was. The only word to describe it was alright. I felt pretty apathetic about the whole thing. Which makes me feel a little bad.

Everything was executed the way it was supposed to be. Doors were opened, a stop at Cocoa Bean was made, everything was planned to a T. The night was neither too long, nor too short. But there was just something so boring about it all.

I think that sometimes BYU boy is an 80 year old man trapped inside a 21 year old body. I guess my back-up plan of marrying a rich 80 year man so I can inherit all of is money is out of the question. I realize now that I would die first. Of sheer boredom.

Perhaps this weekend will reward my hard work of tests and finals with something a little bit more exciting.
Until then,
xoxo
-the Romantic

I have a confession to make. I don't really date all that often.

GASP!

I know, shocking isn't it? How is it that I write on a dating blog then? I suppose it stems from the fact that I have a fantastical amounts of romantical ideals. And also, I seem to always have the strangest experiences with men.

I was recounting some of my favorite boy stories with a friend of mine the other night. Here's just a little taste:
-There was one boy, recently returned from his mission that my room mate liked. He did not like her back the same way. But he and I became very close. In fact, one night we cuddled. And my roomie was there, we thought she had been asleep. We thought we'd made sure. We called her name, told her to wake up. We really thought she'd been asleep. But she wasn't. Oh no she was not indeed. I found out later that she'd been pretending, and eavesdropping on everything we'd been talking about. And then we found out the boy had a semi-girlfriend at BYU-H anyway. So who he liked in Provo was moot point...It was perhaps the biggest drama of my entire life.

-Right before I left on my study abroad, my ex-boyfriend went crazy with grief that I was leaving, and drew me on his car... CREEEEEPY. I never saw it, I only heard about it while on my semester abroad. After I came back and he was dating someone else, I confronted him about it. But he said that it was in fact not me but just a "representational figure". Ha! My friends and I saw his car one day. The "representational figure" was scrubbed off. If it wasn't me, then why scrub it off?

-I scratched my cornea once. It happened to be while I was "watching" sound of music with my boyfriend at the time. i promise i wasn't being scandalous. but really, how does one scratch their cornea when kissing?? i still am not sure to this day.

This is just a small piece of what I go through with men. Best Friend Guy (who just got engaged on saturday, insert tears of sorrow here) thinks I should start having cameras follow me around, just so people see that I'm not making this stuff up, nor do I bring it upon myself. I just seem to attract the crazies.

So this semester, I've gone on a grand total of five dates! WHOO!

I think that's more than the rest of my years at BYU combined.

And one of my FHE brothers asked me out for Saturday! I think this really must be some sort of fluke. I've been going on dates with semi-normal people, and actually having fun! Saturday night, BYU boy (he is the biggest psycho fan of byu that you will ever meet) and I are going to the choir concert. Which is really nice, because I've mentioned how much I like the arts, and not sports. It shows thought. Although I will go to sporting events. I am a cougar after all.

It makes me wonder what I'm doing differently this semester, besides asking strange men for their number on the freeway of course.

It has to be some sort of fluke.

Remember how I went out with the boy I met on the freeway?

I guess I failed to mention that there was another car boy. A funnier/cuter one. Well after the first car boy added me on facebook, so did car boy 2, who happens to be car boy 1's room mate.

Well one thing leads to another, and Car Boy 2 and I end up going out for ice cream Tuesday night. And I felt like a bit of a floozy. Because I don't think car boy 1 knows we went out. Which wouldn't be a super big deal I guess. Except I think he had a good time on our date, and when he stopped by today to pick up the all sports pass I borrowed last weekend, he gave me a hug goodbye. And I don't think he's one of those hugger types. Originally, he raised his hand for a high five, but then just switched to both arms wide open... awkward awkward awkward

But I think I could like car boy 2!! It was the first date I've been on this semester where I haven't thought, "Oh hey this is fun. But I wish I was here with Sweater Guy". So that's good right? I think he had a good time. He mentioned wanting to hang out again. And we have texted a bit this week. I invited him to a bonfire tonight. But he's out of town this weekend.

On another note: We will title this "Coincidence or not?" (It's like getting two blog posts for the price of one!!!)
Sweater Guy's best friend emails me on Sunday to see how I'm doing. It was kind of random. But not completely out of character. We were close-ish. But since we're not in the same social group anymore, I haven't talked to him in over a month. I answer back with the usuals. I tell I still miss Sweater Guy but that I'm doing ok. And even dating people. And then mysteriously, the next morning, I awaken to three missed calls. All in a row. All from a blocked number.
1:05 am. 1:06. 1:07 am. No Messages.
Of course I didn't answer because I was asleep. My suspicion is that they were from Sweater Guy. And I don't know why he would call me, except that the next day was the Sufjan Stevens concert. Which we were supposed to attend together. And maybe he missed me... Later in the week he messages me on facebook. This message is just a link about lil wayne getting out of prison. Lil Wayne was a little inside joke we had when we first started dating. I don't know what he's up to these days. He could already be dating someone else. Which is whatever.

Are all these events connected? Or is it just my over active imagination?
But even if they weren't, I was still upset at his popping back into my life without any explanation. Last time we talked he hung up the phone on me because it's too painful to be my friend. Which kind of felt like someone ripping my heart from my chest and beating it with a mallet. So is he saying he's ready to be friends? Because I'm not really sure a) I want to be his friend and b) maybe it's still too painful for me too.

Well that's all folks. I need to go mull this mess over.... Have a pleasant date night!

xoxo
-the Romantic

And now, for a recounting of the infamous car boy date.

I personally think it's tacky to ask a girl out in text form. But I do suppose since we never talked before (besides the whole going 60 miles an hour on the freeway thing), that a text message was the least threatening way to ask me out.

I was flipping about before, as per my normal pre-date routine. I don't know why. It just always happens. My room is still wrecked because of the flurried whirlwind of clothing that tornado-ed around my room last night. I opted for a simple over sized plaid jumper type thing, with skinny jeans, and my converse. My hair was curled, and my make up reapplied. The way I saw it, things would either be horribly awkward, or really fun. I was going to try my best to make it as fun as possible.

He picked me up around 6:45. And off we went to the first basket ball game of the season. I thought conversation flowed quite well from the beginning. The game actually went by pretty quickly. And the conversation was good. But it was pretty apparent from the get go that we don't really have ANY interests in common. He basically only likes sports. I do not. I'll go to games of course, but mostly just to be with the people I'm with.

Something he said bothered me though. I asked him what he wanted to do with his major. He said he didn't really know, he just wanted to have a well paying job when he graduated. This comment made me think. I think my biggest turn off is apathy. I think I've probably given up on my husband having the same interests as me, but I still want him to be passionate about something; and appreciate my passions, so that we can share them with each other.

After the game, we went to Sammy's. I finally had a pie shake for the first time after living in P-town for four years. It was scrumptious.

I'm pretty sure he was having a good time, because then he suggested we check out a haunted house by brick oven. Here I should mention that I am the biggest scardey cat on the face of the planet. It only takes a whispered, "Hey, what was that sound?" to send me hurtling into a major panic attack. So I told him we could go, but I'd probably grab onto his arm the whole time. But then he just made fun of me for it. I know it's pretend! But I have horrible night vision!

I guess by the end of the date, what it came down to is that he was trying to hard to be "cool". The basketball game was fun. But the macho, I'm too cool for this haunted house attitude ruined it.

I could have invited him to my ward Halloween party tonight. He did mention several times he had no plans for the evening. But I opted not to.

Maybe I'll say yes to a second date. But I just don't see it happening at this point.

There was a small change made in my holiday plans last night.

He asked me to go home with him for Thanksgiving.

He doesn't live in Orem. It's a substantial flight.

I'm so excited.

How early is too early to start planning outfit ideas?
Don't answer that...

xoxo
The Virgin

A date with car boy to the first BYU b-ball game of the season? check yes...

and for those of you who are worried about me going on a random date with some man i just met on the freeway. DON'T. I checked him out. And he's actually in my friend's ward. Small world eh?

A group of us were on our way to the great metropolis of Salt Lake City to see the Orchestra at Temple Square perform. I was excited. I curled my hair. Dressed up. And even wore my signature trench-coat scarf combo.

We piled in our friend's car, all five of us. We were ready to roll; up until we hit I-15 that is. 30 minutes after getting on the freeway, we still hadn't hit Pleasant Grove yet. But it was all good. We were just a group of friends, having fun, chatting it up, living our lives.

And then there was this other car. We could see that there were Cougars, just like us, painfully stuck in traffic on a Friday night. It soon became a little waving game. Each car would wave enthusiastically when we passed each other, like the long lost free way buddies we were.

And then they passed us once more, the back window of the driver's side rolled down. So naturally, me being on the passenger side, I rolled down my window too. We chatted. Found ou they were from Provo too. They looked like a friendly bunch (obviously). The traffic was beginning to speed up. I couldn't let the opportunity slip away while the fun was getting started.

So I held up my phone, and motioned to the guy I'd been "chatting" with that he should give me his number. And then he did!!!!! Holding up his fingers, he pantomimed his number while we went 60mph.

I was shocked at myself. I never do things like that. EVER.

The digits were saved in my phone under car boy.
"What next?" I asked my companions. "Text him!" was their reply.

So I did. Banter ensued....

And I'm pretty sure I'll have a date next week with car boy.

Just something to think about next time you're stuck in traffic. ;0)

xoxo
-the Romantic

There is a girl in my ward. And I thought she was flirtatious before last night, but man. I had NO IDEA. Before, she just wanted to date. But now, she just wants a boyfriend. And everyone is talking about it. Our FHE brothers remarked on it to a room mate last night. They said she's literally going door to door, making her rounds as she stalks the poor unsuspecting elders in our ward.
One room mate asked her why she doesn't find one boy to like and then focus in on him, and date him. She replied that that just isn't how she works. She's picked several boys to focus on, and will continue to focus on all of them until one of them wants to date her. It's madness! Madness I say! Several boys came over last night. And there was some serious physical contact going on. And I don't just mean elbow touching. I'm talking thigh grabs, upper arm grabs, and arms around the backs of their chairs.
The craziest thing of all, was that I could see this working. The boys were literally melting in her attention.
I'm really interested to see how this all plays out... If you've ever take Anthro 101 from Professor Crandall, it's like the hunting movie we have to watch. The hunters chase a giraffe for five days as the poison from a spear takes over their nervous system. And they don't move anymore. Our Lioness is slowly circling until eventually, she will catch one of these poor boys in her grasp. It's sad, but you just can't look away because on the other hand, it's just too entertaining.

-the Romantic.

ps. guitar hero is MIA. maybe i did read the signals wrong... but i think i'm really ok with it.

It has become the joke amongst my friends and I that touching a man's elbow is the way to capture his attention. Whether or not that's really true, I've been practicing lately to see if it really works.

And I think that maybe it does.

So I haven't even really being putting the elbow grabbing method into practice, I've just been joking around with boys that I will grab their elbow when they do "attractive" things. Such as play the guitar at the ward talent show.

And then, all of a sudden Guitar Hero(he plays guitar quite well) pops on facebook chat all the time now. He comes over, wanting to hang out, and watch arrested development on his big screen.

The next thing I know, I come home at curfew, having watched 6 episodes of arrested development, sitting next to him (arms touching) on the big couch (with no one else sitting on the big couch), deeply confused. And analyzing everything to death.

Does that mean he's interested? I mean, you don't just sit on the big couch, right next to someone, arms touching, for six episodes of arrested development, if there's no interest right?!

It's times like these that make me feel like the Harvard Sailing Team understands the woman psyche way too well.

My favorite part was when I was dissecting this story with one of my friends in German class the next day, and my 80 year old Professor chimed in. (To be read with a German accent) "It does not matter if your arms were touching. It matter if your skin was touching. Were your arms bare?" Danke Herr Professor. I will keep that in mind from now one. I informed him that I was wearing three quarter length sleeves. Subsequently, there was no skin contact that night.
So here are my concerns:
1) It's my turn to invite him to do something now. But I'm not sure if I really want to or not. I'm still getting over Sweater Guy, truth be told. And I think that's ok, because we only officially broke up about a month and half ago.
2) So, let's say I am ready/interested in Guitar Hero. What if I'm just reading all the signs wrong? And then I do something too forward, and get my heart smashed into thousands of tiny little pieces?

I think the plan will be to just continue being friendly. And try not to freak out.

I can't wait for the day when I'm married, and I can look back at dating and just laugh.

xoxo
-the Romantic

Let's get one thing straight. I don't bake.

I am the queen of baking disasters.

So let's just all agree that the fact that I'm making him his mother's famous lemon cake for his birthday is kind of a big deal.

And let's all pray that it turns out...

Heaven knows I could use a break.

Le Virgin

Remember the story of the Dramatic One and the Skeleton?

He told her in text he didn't have feelings for her. Three years of emotions destroyed with one simple electronic message. The Dramatic One has pulled through remarkably well. And I am quite proud of her.

She's been there for me through the all of my break ups. I'm only happy to return the favor.

But on the other hand, sometimes guys can be sweet.

My conversations with the Virgin lately have been touching reports of her current blissful relationship status. Bravo dear sir!

A funny story to end the post:

In efforts to be more forward and flirtatious, I was trying to text this boy that he was a super cute guy. It fit in context of the conversation ok? It wasn't until the next day after receiving his confusing response that I realized I had forgotten a word... cute. So I just called him a super guy... (Insert forehead slap here). There is no way to fix that! Gah! I give up. He hasn't really texted me since. Our plans for gelatto seem to be put on hold indefinitely. I felt like a giant zit on the face of the BYU dating scene. My roomies insist that I am not. I will try to believe them and solider onward, hoping that one day, one man will find my Mary-like antics endearing and not ...weird.

-the Romantic

And you couldn't be happier.

xoxo
V

I suppose I should have given more background to the Yom Kippur date.

On my study abroad, I met one of my now dearest friends. We will call her The Dramatic One. Her life is very dramatic. Mostly in a good, distracting, exciting way. The Dramatic One has been IN LOVE with this boy for about three years now. We will call him Skeleton (because I think he kind of looks like one).

We've always wondered what the Skeleton's intentions towards the Dramatic One were. But after a letter fall out just before he came home from his mission, we all figured love would never flourish between the two, unless it was the platonic kind.

Now, enter in new school year. I spend basically all of my time with the Dramatic One. It helps me to take my mind off of Sweater Guy (more to come on that later). In the process, I meet Skeleton and all of his room mates. I absolutely adore them all. They are the perfect guys. PEEEEERRRRRFECT. I would marry them. Individually, and as a whole...Yeah. But the two I really like are in that pre-relationship stage. (BOO!) So, that leaves us with Skeleton who is best friends with my best friend the Dramatic One. Are you still following dear reader?

So Skeleton is texting the Dramatic One. He asks her which of her friend she should ask out. She tells him to ask me because I just broke it off with my boyfriend and I need to be around a really good guy. Hence the Yom Kippur fireside!

It was an ok date. Short and sweet. He topped it off by giving me a mixed cd at the end of the night with some of my favorite bands:

Vampire Weekend

Belle and Sebastian

The Decemberists

Animal Collective

Great way to win my heart right?

So here's the deal. The Dramatic One swears she's ok with the date because she really doesn't think anything will happen between them. So I go. But I'm confused. Because the more I interact with the two, the more I think he really does like her. He has the look. You all know the look right? The look a guy gives a girl when he thinks she's the most amazing person he's ever met. They text allllll the time. When hanging out in a group, his attention is mostly directed at her. That sort of thing.

He told her he thought I hated the date and that saying good bye to me was awkward because my complex is so busy.... Well, here are my thoughts: Something maybe could happen with the Skeleton, but maybe I'm not really ready to date anyone. Even if they do send me hilarious texts wishing me a happy autumnal equinox. Also, I'm not really that interested. And I want to somehow hook it up between Skeleton and the Dramatic One.

I feel like I'm in the middle of a love triangle. Only I'm not really in love with anyone. Skeleton just hasn't realized he's in love yet. And the Dramatic One will never confess her feelings.

What a conundrum.

but about Sweater Guy... did I mention we said goodbye forever? Well, we tried to. Or I tried to. I deleted him from everything. Phone, facebook, the whole deal. It was just better for me that way.

He called on my birthday. He has a present for me. Gah. He still hasn't given it to me yet. We shall see how it goes...

xoxo

-the Romantic

I have a date to the Yom Kippur fireside on Sunday.

And I'm actually excited for it...

I know what you're thinking. A fireside? Really?

But I think Elder Scott was right. A movie is really stupid!

xoxo
-the Romantic

Did anyone else catch the devo this morning?

Apparently we should not wait until we order our cap and gown to look for an eternal mate to build a family with.

Does this mean I should stop my boy fast and move in on my hunky FHE brother with the dreamy eyes?

I would just like everyone to take a moment to also note the irony of President Samuelson's talk: "Appropriate Zeal".

That is all.

xoxo
-the Romantic

My biggest pet peeve of BYU ladies, is their tendency at the beginning of the semester to scope out their the prospects, and then stake their claim.

Like the gold rush days of old, the ladies swoop in like miners, looking for promising criteria. Is he cute? check. engineering major? pre-med? pre-law? check. served his mission somewhere exotic? check.
their future down to the names of their children is planned out in mere minutes. very quickly, sunday evening socials are put into place. invitations are very exclusive. there has to be the perfect balance of males and females. but none of the prospects can meet; for fear of closing herself off to any of them.
i guess i can't be too bothered by this. every girl at BYU does it. however, there is a lovely girl in my ward who always stakes out five different claims. She is on the man prowl. Like a fierce lioness stalking her prey, she has cleverly laid several traps to capture the unsuspecting men in her pearly white chompers. and the weirdest thing is... it works! she had three dates this last week. it's only the first week of school.

sheesh.

xoxo
-the Romantic

I think the hardest part about breaking up with someone is losing your best friend even though they're still around.

Whether we've been together or not, Sweater Guy has been a part of my life for the past 8 months. That is a really long time in Provo years (where two weeks can equal an entire courtship). And now? It's like I have to pretend he's dead or something. Breaking up is just a weird.

Also, I'm not very good at it. It seems that it always takes me 2 or 3 times with these long drawn out conversations that last for hours where tears are shed by both parties. It's so dramatic...
I'm anxious to see what this new school year holds.

But I think it's time for another boy fast. No boyfriends. Just boy friends. I don't have the emotional constitution for dating.

xoxo
-the Romantic

Oh to live the single life again.

It didn't last very long did it?

But instead of being bitter, I know it was the right thing to do. As compatible as Sweater Guy and I are for each other, we work better as friends.

Sunday night was very dramatic and included tears on both our parts. I opted for a break instead of a break up. But I knew it was over and that it is a good thing; even though I didn't care to admit it.

We talked more last night, and ended things officially. Our relationship was getting too serious and both of us were feeling guilty because we both know it won't work out in the end. Which was weird since everything was so great between us.

Yes, it's sad. And I'll still have my mourning period which will include generous portions of ice cream.

But I am good... really truly. Everything will turn out the way it's meant to.

xoxo
-The Romantic

I don't know exactly what it is, but there is something that happens when Zoobie girls reach a certain age.

Suddenly everyone is ready for you to get married and they comment on it all the time.

"So are you dating anyone?" they ask coyly, as if I would keep it a secret...
"No," I reply gruffly.
"Is there anyone you want to date?" (This usually is included with some sort of elbow nudge or a wink.)
"No."
"You know what? I should set you up with so and so. He's so cute. He's friends with my son/nephew/weird cousin. Would you like that?"
"Sure," I say already planning the escape for this blind date.

And eventually your mother picks up on this and starts badgering you as well.

Suddenly it becomes apparent that she had other goals for you than just graduating.

Heaven forbid I graduate without a secondary Mrs. degree. Not all of us double major, you know...

The Virgin

And it was his doing too! I take this as a very good sign.

I'm at EFY yet again. It's been a two week stint. Someone really misses me! hehe.

We have plans to make really awesome t-shirts when i get back on saturday. i have such a good boyfriend.

xoxo
-the Romantic

Yikes!

So Sweater Guy's parents are in town for the holiday weekend. I met them last night. It didn't go horribly wrong. But it didn't go fantastic. I wish I had a more bubbly personality. We'll see how things go today at the extended family bbq later today.... (double yikes!)

I did have this week off from EFY. But I'll be gone for two weeks straight with these next sessions!

It's going to be harder this time.

Last night we went to the Freedom Festival. Somehow I convinced him we should get matching "friendship" bracelets. They are awesome!

Then we danced the night away listening to Swedish pop outside of his car.

And this last week he took me on a surprise date to an Art Museum.

I'm sorely going to miss him.

xoxo
-The Romantic

guess who has a boyfriend??

:0)

xoxo
-The Romantic

This post is cutting into my nap time, but I thought ya'll might want an update.

THERE ARE GORGEOUS COUNSELORS GALORE! I am quite the fan.

And yet, Sweater Guy left me a message this week with the Beach Boys singing, "I wish they all could be California girls"
One guess as to where I'm from. (sigh) it was really cute. I miss him. Lots.

I love EFY.
My girls are amazing. My boys are precious.

Well, I guess it's nap time....

Last dance of the week tonight! WAHOO!

xoxo
-The Romantic

For those of us not staying in Provo during the summer, home can be an awkward place.

The YSA ward consists of two groups where I'm from: the locals, who are nearing thirty, balding, and claiming that their parents' mother in law unit is in fact their "own place", and of course the bug boys, who are flighty, over sexed, and machismo.

(And never mind the boys from my home stake, that's like peeing in the pool, not to mention it feels extremely incestuous.)

And you ask why I choose to go to the family ward and skip out on Sunday school to play with the babies in the foyer?

Kisses,

The Virgin

Memo to self: never read Jane Eyre before bed

Nothing.

This has to be some sort of fluke or something

What sort of mess have we gotten oursevles into this time?

3 out of 5 stars

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Oh President Samuelson

Staking one's claim.

Breaking up is hard to do...

Back on the Market

Date My Single Kid

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