A Few Updates...

2/22/2016 The Charmer 0 Comments


First off, are you working on your submissions to be the next Anti-Austen? I sure hope so!

Update #1: I realized that I majorly goofed and put the wrong email address in the last post. If you tried to send a submission to me, resend it to my correct email address, xoxo.the.charmer [at] gmail.com. I just fixed it in the original post as well. You can also send them to byudates [at] gmail.com
Remember that the deadline is March 17! If we don't feel like we've found "the ones" by that point, we may extend the contest. But for now...just send 'em in.

Update #2: In sadder news, I leave China in 2 days! It's such a strange bittersweet feeling. On the one hand, I feel like the timing is right and that I'm supposed to head back to the States. On the other hand...I'm going to miss it here. I love all my students and the branch members and the everyday adventures. But I'm hoping for plenty more adventures when my feet hit US soil again.

Update #3: The teacher coming to replace me is actually a fellow Anti-Austen reader! You might remember that I advertised about the position on the blog. Well, one of you responded, applied, and got hired! I am actually on my way out the door right now to go to the airport and meet her. I'm quite glad to have another Austen-loving Mormon to replace me at the university. ;)

Well, that's all for now. Just wanted to let you know I love you all and we are looking forward to choosing the next Anti-Austens!

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Are YOU the Next Anti-Austen?

2/16/2016 The Charmer 1 Comments


Alright lovely readers, we have some exciting news for you.

When someone asks you for your worst date story, do you always have to stop and think for a minute because you have so many?
Do you feel like your life is so far removed from a Jane Austen novel that it's ridiculous?
Have you read our blog and thought to yourself, "Oh my stars, I have an experience EXACTLY like that"?
In short, have you ever wanted to be an Anti-Austen?

Well, you're in luck! As much as the Romantic, the Lady, the Bluestocking, and I have loved caring for this blog, we realize that he time has come to pass the torch. After all, this blog began as an outlet to talk about our dating lives at BYU. Seeing as none of us are actually at BYU nor do much dating (besides the happily newlywed Lady), we decided it was time to invite a new group of Austens aboard.

We have put our hearts and souls into this blog and we are looking for new writers who will do the same! Although the four of us may still occasionally pop in to share a post or offer advice, YOU will become the new face and heart of the Anti-Austen.

Are you already concocting up posts in your head? Thinking of a pseudonym? Perfect. Then we want YOU to apply to be an Anti-Austen!

Here's what you need to do to be considered. Fill out the following questionnaire and email it to xoxo.the.charmer [at]gmail.com or byudates [at] gmail.com. (My Charmer account forwards everything to my own email account, so if you send it there I will be sure to see it and send it out to the other Austens ASAP.) 
The deadline to submit an application is March 17, 2016.

1. Which one of Austen's characters do you relate with the least? Why?

2. Which of the gentlemen in Austen's novels would you prefer as your suitor? Why?

3. Why do you want to write for the Anti-Austen?

4. Are you currently attending BYU? What are you studying? When do you anticipate graduating?

5. Please choose two of the following prompts and respond using 200-500 words.
A. Pretend you are a character in one of Jane Austen's novels. Your introductory scene occurs at a ball. Introduce yourself from the viewpoints of the other characters present. 
B. Describe your last awkward encounter with an ex.
C. Tell us about your first date at BYU from your date's perspective.
D. Finish this analogy: "Dating at BYU is a lot like _______....."
E. Share your best flirting tip. 

6. What pseudonym would you like to write under?

We are so excited to see your submissions and choose our new Anti-Austens! Please let us know in the comments if you have any questions.

Also, we've recently had a handful of guest posters as a way to "throw a lure out" and see what kind of talent is floating about these bloggy waters. If you have recently had a guest post published on our blog, please note that in your application!

So, start thinking of pseudonyms....

The Charmer


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Group Dates & Getting Set Up: A Guest Post

2/15/2016 The Charmer 1 Comments

Happy Valentine's Day! I'm enjoying a tropical vacation AND the single life. I'm fairly certain I will have my own fair share of dating exploits soon, as I'll be back in P-town in a couple of weeks. For now, enjoy this guest post!

 All of you know a girl like me. I’m the one who doesn’t really date, but all my friends covet the brilliance of my dating advice. I orchestrate elaborate matchmaking schemes for others and then somehow manage to panic and intentionally friendzone myself with absolutely anyone I find attractive. It’s sad, really.

One time, however, I outdid myself. Have you ever been on a date before when you aren’t sure if it’s a date? What about an outing that you are sure is a date, but you’re not sure who you’re on the date with? Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to my life.

There were four of us in our small squad. The Cowboy, Rafiki, Clara Oswald, and me. The Cowboy had been my friend the longest. Despite the fact that The Cowboy was younger than me—a usually fatal dealbreaker—I was completely twitter-pated.  I have an incredible weakness for cowboys anyway, and he was a little bit of a bad boy to top it off. I was intrigued, and since Clara and I were always together, and he and Rafiki were always together, the four of us got to be very close. 


Rafiki, named so because of his hilarious laugh, was the definition of girl crazy. He fell in and out of love on a daily basis, and couldn’t let a sentence go by without saying something smooth. And while I had known women he fancied more than me, between Clara and I, I always managed to get hit on more often. The Cowboy and I had discussed my total lack of feelings for Rafiki, and The Cowboy found it rather hilarious to watch us together.
Clara Oswald was beautiful and exotic, a Parisian whose sense of humor was just as dry as mine. I hoped beyond all hopes that she and Rafiki would hit it off, knowing that Rafiki would be less into me and picturing the potential for double dates. Sadly, she seemed indecisive.

The day I decided to make my move was like every other day. Sitting together on the carpeted floor of the cultural center after playing glow in the dark tag, Rafiki set me up seamlessly.
Looking back and forth between the two of us and grinning like a hyena, he said, “I sure like going on dates with you two.”

Perfect. I had been waiting for a moment like this. Looking nonchalantly at The Cowboy, I asked him, “What’s your plan for our next date?” It was the perfect blend of I’m-playing-along-with-Rafiki-if-you’re-not-into-it and I’m-totally-asking-you-out-if-you-are.

The Cowboy looked surprised, but pleased. It was the exact expression I had been daydreaming he would have. He smirked. “Well what would you want to do?”

And then everything fell apart.

“Yeah! The Cowboy can buy me lunch and Rafiki will buy you an island.” I tried not to gape in horror at Clara. How on earth had she misunderstood me so badly? First off, as she so clearly did not 
comprehend, I wasn’t really joking. Secondly, she so did not just make it seem like she preferred The 
Cowboy.

In shock, I sat in silence while Rafiki scooted over and threw his arm around me. “Speaking of lunch, let’s start that up now. I’m hungry.” I locked eyes with The Cowboy and managed a wry smile as we all stood. He shook his head slightly as he grinned back at me.
We were never really able to go on an official date. After that day, Rafiki made sure that every group outing we had was referred to as a group date, but could never decide if he was dating Clara or me. Soon, it became a joke that we could just pick who we were dating for that day. Even if I was “out” with Rafiki, however, The Cowboy and I were always the ones who ended up off alone, talking.

The Cowboy found it funny, and though we continued to flirt, neither of us was ever that bold again. Shortly afterward, I moved, and The Cowboy and I grew apart. A month or so later, I got an old fashioned, handwritten letter (be still, my heart!) that talked about timing, and wishing things were different.


In the couple years since, The Cowboy married his Cowgirl. I sent him a wedding present and still talk to him on occasion, proving, I guess, that our friendship was more important than our feelings for each other. Sometimes, though, when I see those silly little jokes and challenges that I loved so much, I wonder what would have been…



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