The Lady's Year in Review

12/29/2014 The Lady 1 Comments

There may be someone out there who can tell the future, but I certainly cannot. As I looked forward into my year on the other side of 2014, I could not have been more misled as to what events would come my way and where I would end up at the year's end. 

The greatest change that has come as of late is a change in location. Save for a necessary internship, I am finished with my masters degree. By some grand design, my internship has taken me to my rural hometown (yes, I am now living at home with my parents) where there are no eligible young men whatsoever. At least none that I have seen. Now that I have left a less bountiful city than Provo for an even more drought-ridden area, I am not certain this semester (or however long I am here) will provide any dating fodder, but I shall be present with any awkward (or perchance thrilling) stories that come my way. 

Now for my own amusement (and perhaps your own), allow me to review the highlights of my year and wrap up the loose ends which abound:

The Artist--Truth be told I nearly forgot about this particular short-lived confusion revolving around The Artist. I met him at that one-day EFY thing in January. I only was with him in person once, but he asked me to go to France with him and wanted to strike up a long-distance relationship. I discovered that he liked the idea of me more than he actually liked me, so I nipped that in the bud with good reason. The Artist is now happily engaged. Mazel tov. 

The Counselor--I met this unexpected man earlier this year in an institute class. His flirtations and non-flirtations with me have been agonizing. I wanted so badly to fall in love with The Counselor, but his lack of romantic advances have made it impossible. The Counselor quickly became one of my greatest friends and the saving grace of my semesters of grad school, and he admitted to feeling similarly about me, but he also let me leave without saying goodbye. I fear that what was once a great friendship and potential relationship has been obliterated. 

The Englishman--Through the means of Tinder, I accomplished a life goal and wooed a British man. But due to a lack of desire to commit to a long-distance relationship or give up any of my standards, a three month text and phone call based relationship came to a fiery end. 

The Southern Gentleman--A very short affair that was lovely and brought my "famine" to an end, but was also short-lived due to distance. Blast it all. 

The Younger Man--A spontaneous Halloween make-out led to a bit more than I bargained for. I admit to liking The Younger Man, quite a bit, but once again we settled the should-we-date debate on the complication of (you guessed it) long distance. It just can't be done I suppose, at least not for me. Although I am planning on spending New Year's Eve with The Younger Man...I wonder what sort of fireworks will occur.

Mr. Cowboy--Mr. Cowboy is bent on ruining my Christmases. And my life. Two years ago at Christmas, he appeared on my doorstep to wish my family and me the merriest. I hid in my bedroom. Like a coward. I am ashamed to admit that it happened again. After almost two years of avoiding him, he came round again. This time he was polite enough to send me a Facebook message asking me if a visit would be alright. I told him plainly that I couldn't stop him from being friends with my family, but a visit with him and his wife was not something I would be able to bear with comfort. Somehow the cad took that to mean that he should come alone. I informed my ever-reliable sister of my immediate distress and retreated. Every room in the house was occupied, so I found refuge in my parents' bedroom. My parents have a rather monstrous bed, and while attempting to climb up, I banged my thigh into the post (I now have a healthy bruise) which quickly elicited tears from my already watery eyes. I laid upon the bed in silent pain from my clumsiness and agony from the sound of Mr. Cowboy laughing and exchanging pleasantries with my family. Again I was in hiding, and I hated it. I would have loved nothing more than to saunter into the living room and let him hug me and pretend that all was well. The truth of the matter is that all is not well. I do not trust Mr. Cowboy and I do not trust myself with Mr. Cowboy. Thus my reasons for hiding away. I do not hide out of heartbreak, but out of a lack of trust in myself to be proper. Mr. Cowboy and I were never just friends. Never. While he was dating his current wife, he held my hand and kissed me. During his mission he wrote to both of us promising what he could only give to one of us. Somehow he expects that after all of that, the two of us can be friends. It simply cannot be. Cowardly as it seems, hiding has been my only escape. If you have any better ideas, email me next Christmas with a plan of action. 

That, ladies and gentlemen, was my 2014. Confusing and enlightening. Joyful and agonizing. I needed this year to prove to myself that I am made of tough stuff, that I have not lost my mettle or spunk or allure. I can only hope that 2015 brings me something better, and I wish the same for you. 

See you on the other side of a grand year, 
The Lady

1 comments:

Merry Christmas from The Lady

12/25/2014 The Lady 0 Comments

Merry Christmas, dear readers. Doesn't this time of year make you want to be in love? Often I feel that I am too much in love with the notion of love. But at this time of year, I indulge that romantic, mushy, gag-inducing, corny, sort of desire for love. I keep watching movies like While You Were Sleeping (I watched that one twice this week) and I have been listening to my most sappy Christmas songs over and over again (my family loves it). There are many things I wish to tell you about my current circumstances (still single, no worries), but I want that to wait until I can gather my thoughts. Until then, please enjoy one of my favorite sappy Christmas songs.



Merry Christmas and happy loving if you have it, and happy hunting if you're still in the midst of looking as I am.

The Lady 

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Winter in China

12/23/2014 The Charmer 0 Comments

Hello, it is I, the Charmer. I just wanted to assure you that yes, I AM alive. There have been a few inquiries as to whether or not I'm dead....okay, mostly from my mother, as I haven't been the best at Skyping home regularly. (Although with this nasty cold I've had for the last 6+ weeks, I could very well be on the brink of death without knowing it)

So...life in China. Currently I am sitting alone in my apartment, surrounded by piles of exams and papers to be graded, eating red bean rice balls. On the one hand, that is a fairly accurate portrayal of the average day in the life of the Charmer for the last 4 months. I grade a lot of papers (who knew being a teacher was so much work?!?!), I am frequently alone in my apartment, and I eat a lot of Chinese food. Especially rice.

But that's kind of a miserable portrayal of my life. Actually, life in China is fabulous...aside from the part where I'm freezing 24/7. I really have never been so cold in my entire life. Apparently, this province of China doesn't believe in indoor heating. I literally wear my coat and gloves while teaching. In fact, the only classroom I spend time in that actually has a heater is my Chinese class, which gives me quite the incentive to attend regularly. Besides the cold part, however, life has been great. I love my students, who continue to delight me with their preciousness (even though they are in college). I love teaching them about the REAL reason for Christmas...although without getting too religious, of course (cue the Pentatonix songs). I love Taobao, which is basically the Chinese version of Amazon, on which I buy way too many clothes for way too cheap that arrive at my doorstep 2 day later. Even though I still crave American food occasionally, I'm starting to get to the point where most days, I'm actually hungry for Chinese food. And, luckily, my Chinese is improving line upon line and I can now decipher whether I'm ordering chicken or pork at a restaurant.

Honestly, though, living alone is strange. I hadn't ever lived on my own before; I'd always had siblings or roommates or mission companions. But I feel like living alone does strange things to a person. At least it has to me.
Number one, I talk to myself....a LOT. I think that's also partially due to the fact that I live in a country where I can't talk to everyone I meet. I noticed when I got home from my mission that I was talking a lot to myself, especially when I was driving alone. After all, I was used to having a companion who couldn't escape from the conversation. Coming to China has only made the monologue-ing worse.
Number two, my personal hygiene habits have....erm...slipped....a little bit? Taking a shower nowadays is a big commitment since it's so cold. Sure, the shower part is warm, but I know that the getting in and out of the shower parts are going to turn my entire body into ice. So, umm....yeah. I shower less frequently.
Number three, I've discovered I'm a little bit of a messy person. Well, it's not so much that I'm messy, it's just that I kind of spread out and don't ever really bring it all back in again. I feel like you can see my thought process throughout the day by looking at my living room and where I've deposited various objects.

Yes. I'm learning a lot about myself from being here.

Anyway, hopefully those habits haven't made me too socially unacceptable because in only four days, Ammon...aka my long-distance BOYFRIEND... will be here. AHHHH! Am I excited? Of course! Am I also like super duper out of my mind freaking out nervous? Umm....kind of. Even though we have skyped regularly for the last four months, I only actually spent time around him for a week. And we weren't dating then. And I haven't touched a boy in four months and now I feel like I've regressed back into my "I'm an RM and I'm awkward around boys" mode.

But, it's fine, right? Besides, the first couple of days we're going to be hanging out with a bunch of other YSA teachers in my branch so even if I am completely awkward, it hopefully won't be too noticeable in a group setting. Right?!

Well, wish me luck! And of course, Merry Christmas! (圣诞节快乐!)

xoxo,
迷人的女孩 (the charmer)

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Ben the Bold II

12/14/2014 The Blue Stocking 0 Comments


 After Ben’s guest appearance at Wednesday night diner, I felt oddly hopefully for our next encounter. We planned a Holiday night which included making dinner at his place and decorating his Christmas tree. Friday night he pick me up so we could go grocery shopping. It was there I admitted the only food I shopped for was milk, cereal, and Oreos. I truly hope guys find my unhealthy habits endearing. After shopping, we went back to his apartment and met all of his roommates. 

 Now I need to say this before we go any further. Ben looked good. Like really good. I liken him to a lumberjack in his plaid and beard. I must confess there were moments where I just stared at him like some creepo who had never met a man before.

Ok now that his attractiveness has been established, back to the date.

In the beginning things were very promising. We teased and laughed as we made dinner, but as the hours ticked by I found myself struggling to come up with anything to say. In fact, I found myself having more in common with his roommates than him. Have you ever had that happen? I was even a little sad to see them retreat back to their rooms. Come back friends!

After four hours of dinning and decorating I believed we were done. But no, he suggested we make dessert, but only after we watched youtube videos for an hour. Nothing more fun than an hour devoted to watching a guy’s favorite video on clowns.


During dessert I was pulling out every cliché question to just get me through the night. Don’t get me wrong. He was a great guy, a fantastic guy, but together we were not so great. I believe he felt the same way. After 5 ½ hours, I finally made it back to my door step where he did not ask me out again. I think we both knew this wasn’t going anywhere BUT Grant doesn’t need to know that.  

-The Bluestocking

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Ben the Bold

12/10/2014 The Blue Stocking 1 Comments

 In November, after the sadness that was Grant and the return of all the exes, I needed a distraction. And that’s when Ben came into the mix. He was a set-up courtesy of a friend. Ben Facts: He has a glorious beard, he loves Russian lit, and he’s in med school.  

Heaven knows I needed a break from the Lawyers.

Initially things were awkward. How can they not be? A stranger comes to your house and ushers you into his car. You’re basically giving consent for kidnapping. I mean sure you’re not a kid and yeah they plan to return you. BUT what if they didn’t. Terrifying right.

Anyways, for the first couple of minutes we talked about the person who set us up and then we hit into the getting-to-know-you questions. As we muddled through our answers we somehow stumbled on something genuine. What we want from a relationship. Might as well get down to the point. He then confessed his favorite love stories were Beauty and the Beast as well as Seven Brides for Seven Brothers. And I confessed to being terrified that all of his favorite fiction centered on guys kidnapping women in order to get married.

I mean he had after all kidnapped me…sort of.

After a lighthearted two hours he dropped me off at my doorstep, but before he left he asked me out for that Friday night. I’m not one for guys asking on the doorstep, but another date with that beard Ben was something I couldn’t turn down.  

Wednesday night rolled around which meant it was dinner with friends night. I sat next to Grant who, surprise surprise, was acting weird. I fidgeted with my phone, pretending someone somewhere was interested when a message from Ben popped up:

Ben: "It’s wed dinner with friends right? I wanted to see you so I thought I would swing by.”

Well ok then.

There has never been a more magnificent moment in the history of dating moments than when I sat next to Grant feeling utterly rejected and in came Ben in his bearded bold glory.

That night we separated ourselves from the group and one by one everyone left Ben and me to our flirtations. Hours later the restaurant booted us to the parking lot where we planned our next date.


Ben pulls off this this whole forward thing.  

-The Bluestocking

1 comments:

Merry Christmas?

12/08/2014 The Romantic 5 Comments

It is nearing 12:00 midday here in the land of the morning calm. To avoid showering, studying for the GRE, and other things of an adult nature I have decided to once again awaken from my long blog slumber and regale you with some tales and woes of dating in the ROK.

Christmas in Korea is a horse of a very different romantic color. In the west, Christmas is all about family traditions, gathering with loved ones, spreading Christmas cheer, and so on and so forth. But in Korea, well Christmas is viewed as just another of their many "couple" days. It's celebrated much like Valentine's Day. If one ventures outside on this day, your eyes will be barraged with couples, couples, and more couples.

Needless to say, I'm pretty upset about this. There's been all sorts of "woe is me" and gnashing of the teeth going on in my lonely, one person apartment. I like it when Christmas is, well you know, about Christ. I didn't need another holiday to remind me how single I am.

Which brings me to another point. Koreans have graduated from asking me if I have a boyfriend to why I don't have a boyfriend. If I knew why I didn't have a boyfriend, do you think I would still be single??? They've all seem to come to the swift conclusion that if I really wanted a date for Christmas, I could get one. They all have also decided that my single state is because of the way I look. According to Korean standards, I'm far too pretty to be single. So guys just assume that I have a boyfriend and don't bother to approach me. Are you as baffled by this theory as I am? I've never been considered pretty in America. Cute on a occasion, but never beautiful. I think they just like me for my big eyes (no, but really that's what they all tell me). I give up.

There's all these rules to dating in Korea that I don't fully understand, or even slightly understand. In fact, unbeknownst to me, I maybe had a Korean boyfriend for several months and I didn't even know. I'm not sure how flirting works here. So, in my continuing efforts to get married, I've decided to move back to America. I'll be heading back your way sometime next spring.

Until then, may you find yourself under some mistletoe~

Xoxo,
The Romantic

5 comments:

Blue's Fall Adventures: October

12/04/2014 The Blue Stocking 5 Comments

In October, Grant and I entered month three of hanging out and I was getting antsy. I craved something solid. Something more than just last minute hangouts. The first week of the month we spent every night together, but that weekend was marked by silence. It was torturous. I broke down on Monday night and texted him, starting a conversation that lead into the AM, but no invite to come over. 

This infamous weekend was the end of our personal hangouts, but sadly not the end of our "friendship" as we continued to spend time hanging out with our friends. Sure we still messaged and sent funny snapchats to each other, but there was a definite shift dividing an ‘us’ into a ‘him’ and a ‘me’. This together yet apart situation caused me to go through a myriad of stages each lasting a couple days. 
  • The “sad” stage: Where I gained an Oreo belly of sorrow and stalked his social media pages.
  • The “forget him” stage: Where I raged out and avoided him.
  • The “I’ll make him like me!” stage: Self-explanatory and rather pathetic.
  • The “Acceptance” stage: Where I realized I couldn’t force someone to be with me and I resolved to listen to “Nicest Thing” by Kate Nash on repeat. 

I just wish I knew what happened. And every group hang out just makes everything more complicated. Especially when our friends decide to talk about dating and he’ll admit to asking girls out, liking them, and then avoiding them.

Why? Why on earth would you do that? Maybe he’s in an infamous “weird place” along with The Lady’s fellows. I just keep replaying our last week “together” in my head and our little break simply doesn't make sense. 

It’s been over a month since our falling out, and while I feel like I’m getting over it, there’s a piece of me that can’t let go. And in the midst of all of this I’ve been seeing someone else and instead of alleviating the pain it seems to have made me feel worse. 

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I really need for it to be Christmas already. 

-The Bluestocking

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