voyeuristic admiration

1/29/2013 The Romantic 3 Comments

Do you remember when I termed the phrase "creeper lovin'"?

I was describing the definition to my RS president the other night, and somehow the phrase voyeuristic admiration popped up.

I liked it, so I decided to share. Much more sophisticated right?

Speaking of creeper lovin', I'm full out creeper lovin' on someone in my ward. Yes dear readers, I have moved past the crease, crinkle, and crush stages to full out creeper lovin'.

Who is this fellow, you may ask.

Weeeelll, here's the thing. He's in a band (typical, right?). And they've actually got a pretty big following. Such a big following that I bought some of their music on itunes before I left on my mission.

We spent awhile talking at the first FHE, but I'm afraid I might have made him a little bit nervous when I didn't exactly hide how ecstatic I was on hearing that he's a drummer for one of my favorite local bands. Since then he's come to my Sunday School class a couple of times. But I was never really certain he remembered my name. Which is something I think you need to know in order to get married and have lots of musically talented babies, so I quickly let the dream die.

But then a couple weeks ago he showed up to ward prayer! An unheard of event! And then he came to ward desert night right after where we talked for awhile more.

I decided then, intimidating pocket square be darned (for the sake of a more appealing rhetoric, sometimes I wish I could swear).

So during munch and mingle on Sunday, I talked to him some more. And I arranged for our houses to have breakfast together. During the time we chatted about the delicious waffles we would make at our collabrative breakfast, Pacha pipped in saying he had a scrumptious crepe recipe.

"Well, you aren't invited to our breakfast," The Drummer said this jokingly. But it was serious....

So although I'm trying not to allow myself to hope, over-analyze, or get too excited, I am currently doing all three.

But if only I end up friends with the guy, that's ok with me.

xoxo
-the Romantic

ps. I saw this pillow on pinterest....


But seriously! 

3 comments:

A gentleman is as a gentleman does.

1/25/2013 The Lady 3 Comments

Earlier this week, I accompanied my roommate to The Boy Next Door's apartment as she had a necessary errand to run concerning ward business. I went with her for two reasons: 1) It is a truth universally acknowledged that girls travel in packs 2)I was determined to say something to The Boy Next Door. Anything. "I like your flannel shirt." "How do you feel about Jane Austen?" "Would you like to marry me?"

My roommate and I were cordially invited into the apartment where she conducted her business, but not without being sure to ask if the gentlemen gathered there were acquainted with me {everyone should have such a roommate}. Then without missing a beat, The Boy Next Door blurted out, "Oh, I know The Lady!" Then turning to his roommates, "She is from {my home state} and {other small personal facts about myself}." He knew who I was! Not only that, he knew things about me! Things I had never told him myself! Huzzah! I was able to have a short and inconsequential conversation with The Boy Next Door before we left, but it was a conversation nonetheless.

The next day--as fate would have it--my car got a flat tire. Having the luck that I have, I have become quite accustomed to changing tires and therefore never really need any assistance. However, I would have gladly accepted the help of a charming young man {namely The Boy Next Door} if he were to come my way, as I was chilled to the bone. So there I was kneeling in the snow, changing my tire and I heard the voice of The Boy Next Door as he chatted with someone on his way to his car. I did not look up from my position bent over my tire, hoping that he would offer a hand, especially because his car was conveniently parked nose to nose with my own. But no. The Boy Next Door got into his car and drove away without so much as a "hello" let alone an offer to help a girl out with a flat tire. 

Though I am still incredibly irritated by this incident, I am trying to give him the benefit of the doubt. Perhaps I looked too capable? Perhaps he was in a hurry? Perhaps he didn't see me {somehow}? Perhaps he doesn't know how to change a tire? 

I should have been out there in a skirt and high heels and tried to look more distressed and helpless. Blast my all-too-capable self!

May there be more gentlemen in your life than there are in mine, 

The Lady

3 comments:

A New Method

1/24/2013 The Romantic 4 Comments

A joke on Sunday night to tell fortunes for our FHE activity on Monday night turned out to be quite a fun adventure.

And by telling fortunes, I mean we played that card game where you pick out the four kings (or queens if the tell-ee be a man), assign them names of real people. Then ask questions such as, "Which man will be richest?" "Which will like reading Jane Austen books?", and so on and so forth. You get the answer to the question by drawing cards and subsequently placing them on each King. When the suites match, you have your answer.

Surprisingly, the boys were really excited to play that game. So, fifteen minutes before FHE, I decided to also brush up on palm reading. And by brushing up, I mean googling it. Just to spice things up even a little bit more.

Really it was just a ploy to hold hands with every boy in my FHE group.

Guess what?

It worked.

If only I had the gumption to say something like, "Hmmm, this is interesting... Your palm says you're taking me out on a date Friday night. Who knew?"

Next time.

xoxo
-the Romantic

Pretty clever of me right? 

4 comments:

"Run mad as often as you like, but do not faint"

1/20/2013 The Blue Stocking 4 Comments


Last week I met a dirt collector; this week I met the ward. Both incidences were interesting to say the least.

I have to admit that before today I had yet to speak to any guys in my ward. Yes I realize I’ve been in the ward for three weeks BUT I may or may not have been skipping out on the Sunday School. I know I know, I’m a terrible person.

Anyhoodidledo, this Sunday I decided to socialize more, or at the very least talk to anyone. I started out by sitting by a guy in sacrament. It was unintentional, BUT it still happened. We probably only talked for a totally of 30 seconds, but he was cute and he smiled at me so of course I started picturing us as the ward’s new hot couple.

In the midst of my crazed thoughts I leaned over and realized he was wearing a badge. Yes ladies and Gentleman out of the hundred or so guys in my ward I ended up sitting by the missionaries. I’m now a creepy failure.

After Sacrament they asked us to stay behind to get callings so I oh-so-awkwardly sat by myself on an empty bench. Then this guy – who probably thinks he’s oober smooth – cozies up to me and slowly slides his arm around my shoulder saying “I’m so glad we get to sit together during marriage prep.” Honestly, I can’t really remember my reply. I do believe it was laced in sarcasm though. He then laughed and left.

Good one.

I was soon joined by another fellow who I believed was also waiting for a calling.  It turns out he already had a calling and was only there because he said I was more entertaining than Sunday School.

Awww?? 

The bishop came in and asked who was next and I quickly got up.

And that was a quick recap of my male interactions today. Days like this lead me to believe that 2013 may be focused more on graduating then getting married. 

C'est la vie,

The Bluestocking

4 comments:

The good, the bad, and the ugly. Mostly the bad and the ugly.

1/18/2013 The Lady 0 Comments

Girls are cray. Girls who are looking for husbands are cray. Mormon girls who are looking for husbands are cray. The Queens of Cray. You know it. I know it.

I spend so much time blogging about my own dating experiences that I am sure that I am often overlooking my own flaws and faux pas. The truth of the matter is that sometimes (more often than not) dates are bad or just aren't generally fun. And while my own dating life is going through a bit of a dry spell (I am on the VERY verge of a breakthrough with The Boy Next Door, we almost had a conversation last week and he brushed against me after ward prayer) I would love to hear from you. So my dear gentleman readers, I send out a call for your worst/most awkward date stories. Ladies can be as much to blame (if not more) for all of our singleness. Please write! I would adore hearing from you. (byudates@gmail.com)

Con Amor,
The Lady

0 comments:

On Being a Third Wheel

1/17/2013 The Romantic 3 Comments

My best friend's boyfriend just returned from his travels abroad last semester. And within the first week of the semester, my new room mate has a boyfriend. So in a very few short weeks, I've found myself playing third wheel much of the time.

And I've found that I actually like it.

Here's some tips I've found to make the third wheeling experience not only bearable, but also enjoyable.

1) Make friends with the boyfriend. Talk to them, ask them questions. It's so much less awkward than them just standing around while waiting for your room mate.

2) Find a balance. It is good to make friends with the couple, but don't forget that as much as your room mate loves you, she does want to spend time with her boyfriend. So hang out a bit, but then give them some space.

3) Try not to be jealous. I've been home from my mission since March and I haven't dated anyone very much. So my "person" that I tell good/bad/interesting news to is my best friends. As my friends have dated over the years, I've realized that it's ok not to be their top priority any more, especially if the relationship is serious. Their future spouse should be your number one priority. And on the other end of the spectrum, try not to be jealous of the fact that they have someone to date either. Just because it's not your turn, doesn't mean that it won't not be your turn forever (nice use of a double negative there Romantic).


So there's my two cents, or should I say my third cent (ha... ha...) How do you feel about being the third wheel dear readers?

And now here is my favorite Korean music video on third wheels. Please enjoy. Because I know I certainly do every time I watch it.



xoxo
-the Romantic 

3 comments:

The 5 Stages

1/16/2013 The Blue Stocking 5 Comments


I haven’t told you guys this (not that you really need to know) but I moved. Yuppers I packed up and moved to a new place because I needed “a fresh start” whatever that means.

I went to my new ward exited for a sacrament meeting not filled with my failed relationships. It was ok. What I really ended up doing was picking out the cute guys and hoping they didn’t have girlfriends. They did. Typical.

I would just sit there watching them (yes I’m supes creeptown) and I would see this beautiful girl come gliding down the aisle and I would just pray “please don’t sit next to my future boyfriend”. But she would. Whatever, doesn't mean I can’t still stalk him.

Ok it probably means I can’t stalk him.

Since church didn’t contain any magical eyes-meet-breath-stops-love-blooms moments I was really looking forward to my religion class. Did I mention my major requires me to be surrounded by at least 30 girls at all times? Well it does. Religion classes are sometimes my only male contact for the day. It can be quite trying.

Anyways, I was banking on some sort of flirt session, but did it happen? No. Instead I sat by a fellow who introduced himself and proudly proclaimed his hobby was grinding rocks into dirt. NOT KIDDING.

When the teacher asked the completely rational question “what in the world do you do with all that dirt?” He responded saying “you put it in bottles and stuff” with a tone that implied “duh”.

This very moment made me realize I just might be single for a while if these are the options the world is offering me. AND then I entered into the 5 stages of I-just-realized-there-are-no-men-for-me-to-marry grief. Below is a breakdown of the stages.

  1. Confusion: there are literally millions of men out there, how is it even possible that I am surrounded by the dirt collectors of the world?
  2. Denial: I just need to meet more guys. This is NOT really happening ha ha I can fix this ha ha this is fixable ha ha I’ll just go on more dates ha ha put myself out there and whatnot. I WILL NOT STAY SINGLE FOREVER
  3. Anger: lots and lots of anger brought on by singles ward activities and blind dates. Take me on one more 5 hour date. I.DARE.YOU.
  4. Hysterical laughter/sobbing: do I really need to describe this one?
  5. Acceptance: I’ve always wanted a cat anyway. They can be VERY fulfilling!

I’ve only ever made it to stage 4—thank goodness—because only a very desperate bluestocking would ever buy a cat for companionship.

-The Bluestocking

5 comments:

A heroine somewhat prevented.

1/12/2013 The Lady 1 Comments

"But when a young lady is to be a heroine, the perverseness of forty surrounding families cannot prevent her. Something must and will happen to throw a hero in her way."  --Jane Austen {Northanger Abbey}

In the lives of Mr. Cowboy and Dex {and every other blasted man I have dated} I was not the heroine. Perhaps I was even the antagonist at some point. However, certainly I am the heroine of my own life. Surely a hero will sometime be thrown in my way. 

My problem is that I always hope that my hero will be a specific person, but it has yet to come to pass as I would hope. For example, I constantly daydream about Clive and how perfect we would be together. When he talks to me about Downton Abbey or his Ivy League School, I just sit back and imagine our life together. Him, a successful Ivy League Man, me a quaint Ivy League Wife, with our classy Ivy League Children, living in a comfortable Ivy League Home. But then I have to remind myself that it is more likely that I will never see Clive again and that someday he'll marry an Ivy League Woman with whom he will live a life of mutual admiration and respect. 

Right now, I wish that Clive were my hero, but I suppose that often our wishes are not what is actually best suited for us. 

But while on the topic of wishes, I wish that men didn't believe in five-hour dates. 

When an old friend asked me to be his date for a group date with his apartment, I was thrilled. I know this group of men well, and I get along with all them exceedingly well. I even knew most of the women they were asking, so I was certain when they told me that it was going to be a five-hour date that it would be no problem. It would be just as if I were hanging out with a group of friends for several hours right? Wrong. Somehow when you slap the word date onto an activity it automatically makes it an awkward and dull affair, even among the strongest of friendships. By hour two, I was quite ready to be at home again. 

Perhaps I am the problem. I have come to the conclusion that I positively hate dates. With strangers, with friends, with boyfriends. They are somehow unbearable to me. The word "date" makes me feel as though I have to pretend to be something, to put on an act, thus resulting in a personality not entirely my own. If dating weren't an essential step towards marriage, I would probably never consent to go on another one again. 

I am a heroine somewhat prevented by my own naturally inclination towards unrealistic idealism and spinsterhood. 

Con Amor, 
The Lady 

1 comments:

When girls aren't interested

1/10/2013 The Romantic 1 Comments

Coming to you again, dear readers, by popular demand, another advice post! 

Lately, the girls I have been asking on dates seem to show interest for the first couple of dates and then seem to not show interest. I mean by not showing interest as in, not responding to text messages for a day or two, and if they do, only respond in a few words. Also, when I seek an opportunity to talk to them face to face, the conversation is generally quite short. When I get the feeling that things aren't going anywhere, which I start to feel when the interest starts declining, I try to respectfully back off and provide space so that I am not intruding. Am I correctly assuming that this is a lack of interest and I should move on? The last thing I want to be is stalkerish and/or creepy, hence the reason why I provide space and don't push the issue after the first two or three occurrences of declining interest (or what I feel as declining interest). I also keep the 3 point rule that Zack Oates introduced. 

Dear Mr. Respectful,
I regret to inform you that your assumptions are probably correct. I generally find that what has now been termed the "Zack Oates 3 point rule" is generally true. And now, even though you didn't ask, I'd like to offer a couple explanations as to why this happens (and by this, how a girl's interest can quickly trickle into nothing). Firstly, girls are cowards. We don't like hurt feelings, awkward conversations, or that awful puppy dog look a boy can get on his face when you've crushed his hopes that had been so high only moments before. So instead of telling a guy we're not interested, we just slowly stop answering him.... It's awful. I know. But it happens. (I personally try not to do this...but it's still hard)

 Secondly, and this is something I've experienced lately, the girl was interested, but somewhere between dates one and two, the magic faded. I was so excited to go out with Pacha last semester. I spent the Sunday night after he asked me out just daydreaming about how great it would all be. But then after a few texting conversations and the date, the magic just sort of died. I can't explained what happened. Or why my feeling so unexpectedly changed. Fickle is my middle name I suppose. But that doesn't make Pacha less cool. Or that I value him any less as a person. Sometimes two people are interested in each other, and then sometimes they suddenly aren't. And it's OK. I think that's the biggest lesson I learned last semester. It's ok to not be interested in someone, and it's ok if they aren't interested in you.

Best of luck Mr. Respectful. It's a tough dating world out there, so may the force be with you (the only excuse I have for that poor sign off is spending the break among my four brothers.... I apologize).

xoxo
-the Romantic

ps. just in case you're wondering how my love life is going... it's sort of not. There is a cute boy in one of my classes going into architecture. He even sat next to me today, but I couldn't muster up the courage to talk to him ... I've even come up with good topics to discuss so that I can somehow broach a conversation with him.... but alas, maybe next Tuesday?

1 comments:

Forgiveness and Old Boyfriends

1/07/2013 The Blue Stocking 8 Comments

The past couple of weeks I’ve been thinking about the idea of forgiveness and where ex-boyfriends figure in. And by thinking about it I mean everywhere I go someone is speaking on the importance of forgiving. Ok ok, I GET IT.

I’ve always hoped I would be the kind of person who could forgive someone for anything. You accidently ran over my dog? Forgiven. You trashed the kitchen AND didn’t clean it up. Forgiven. You borrowed my favorite book without asking?. It’s pushing it, but, forgiven. 

But for some reason I’ve never really forgiven the guys in my life. Ok maybe just one specific guy. 

The more I think about it the more I realize that I don’t even know how forgiveness factors in with old boyfriends. The classic phrase is to forgive and forget, but wouldn’t forgetting be the opposite of learning a lesson? The time I spend with him taught me so many important things, but it also brought me to the realization that I never want to see, speak, or hear from him again. 

So where does forgiveness factor in? 

I have a lot of resolutions this year. I have the usuals: work out, eat better, don’t procrastinate; the unusuals: stop killing my hair with my dyeing shenanigans, read every book known to man, stop chipping my nail polish off…but the one I want to achieve the most is to somehow find a way to forgive my ex and just move on.
Wish me luck

-The Bluestocking

8 comments:

On guys and phone numbers

1/03/2013 The Romantic 5 Comments

This question showed up in our inbox a little while ago. Sorry for the delay...
 
While I was studying for finals a boy came up to me and gave me his number. It was cute and clever; I was wearing a calculator watch and he slipped me this note as I was heading out with a flash of pearly whites and an impish (as if acknowledging how cute and clever he was) "Happy holidays!" I applaud any and all boys confident to approach a stranger. However, as flattering as it is to have a boy give you his number, it poses so many problems. First of all, what the heck am I supposed to do with it? Text him something along the lines of, "Hey!... this is that girl whose number you gave yours to on the fourth floor of the library... at BYU. What's up?"  Yeah no potential for awkward there. Also what if I can't even remember what he looks like?  When this specific boy walked over to me in the library my inner, smarter, self reminded me to pay close attention to what he looked like but I was so flustered that all I remember is dark hair. That's it. Now I have to be cautious not to be overly flirty while texting him because what if he ends up being 5 foot 2?  

I suppose my question for you knowledgeable ladies is:
What is your opinion and what is your course of action when a boy gives you his number, instead of taking yours?
 
A response from the Romantic:
This is too good not to pass up. Even if he is 5 foot 2. Clever guys that take initiative are a rare commodity these days.  I hope that you already responded, but if you haven't, all hope isn't loss. I think it will only be awkward if you make it awkward. The great thing about texting is that you don't have to be witty on the spot. If it were me, I would say: 
 
According to my calculations, 704-533-****= the phone number of a pretty cool guy. Sorry it's taken so long to respond...How do you feel about pi? 
 
And then  after more flirtatious conversation, I would make plans to eat pie with him. But only in a public place, and after finding out his last name (for a subsequent facebook stalking). 
 
And on guys giving you their number in general, of course text or call him! 
 
 
Happy calculating! 
 
xoxo
-the Romantic
(like my paint skillz?)
 
 

5 comments: