Saved by the Bell

3/13/2010 bekah 1 Comments

And now for the post that you've all been waiting for.... My date with Mr. Asian.

It definitely began on the most awkward note possible. I was to meet him in the Talmage building lobby (a place which I have never dared before to enter being the Art History major that I am). I was dreading this moment, and when I walked in and didn't see him, I became hopeful that he might stand me up. I walked towards the West part of the lobby. And who did I happen upon there but my home teacher! Perfect! Now I could ask a guy's opinion on whether or not it was ok to turn a guy down for a date if you knew absolutely you did not want to go (I'm all for giving people chances. But I was kind of repulsed by the idea of going out with Mr. Asian. Mostly because of the confirmation of the date the night before).

"Hey Tim*!" I said. "I have a dilemma. Can I ask you something?"
"Sure," he says, with his face open and trusting. I'm sure I sounded a lot more serious than the situation called for.
I looked around carefully too see if our Little Asian Man was anywhere in sight. "Do you know Ping** in the ward?"
"No, I don't think so..."
"Oh, OK." I whispered quietly. "Well he asked me out for tonight..." I turned around to look and see if he happened to be there.
AND GUESS WHAT! the little bloke had sidled up on the bench right next to us, not making his presence known, obviously, to eavesdrop on the conversation! Literally, it hadn't been but 10 seconds before when I looked around to check.

"oooohhhhh hoooo! this is Ping actually. Well Tim. We gotta go now... I'll talk to you later about my little delimma!"

Unfortunately, that set the tone of awkwardness for the rest of the night.

We walked to the WILK. The small talk wasn't so bad. He was worried about being late since I met him at 6:43 instead of 6:40.
And then we came to the double doors. The double entrance doors on campus are awkward in any situation, even if you do like the guy. Do you wait for him to open the second set or not, caught in awkward entrance limbo? I decided to wait. To which he promptly gave this reply in a rude tone, "oh I see, you're waiting for me to open the door for you." yeah Ping. That's what you're supposed to do on a date.
We then proceeded into the event. We were still early, and the theater was not even a quarter full. Late? I think not.
We sit down. And the true awkwardness begins as Ping starts to grill me on my dating life this past semester. I try to deflect questions, change the subject, but alas, nothing works. Finally, I let is spill out that I've been dating someone this semester, but we're on a break right now. I didn't mean for it to happen! But really readers, you have no idea the third degree he was giving me! Then he wouldn't stop until he figured out who in the ward it was! I told him it wasn't important, but he insisted because he "needed to find out who his competition is" as he put it. (As if anyone could really compete with Sweater Guy at this point)
He finally narrows down to one apartment in our complex. And then he guess. I told him it didn't matter. But he was insistent. So I finally acquiesced and said yes, that he had guessed correctly, it is the Science major who lives in 45b***. Then he began asking me why I like the guy so much, how long we've been dating, what we talk about/ do together. It was horrible. Luckily the show started.
I sat through 40 minutes of painful mediocre BYU stand up comedy.

And then, an act of Providence!

The fire alarm went off! We were told to leave the building. I was saved by the bell quite literally! (My dad asked if it was a Chinese fire drill. ha. ha. ha.) Ping asked if I wanted to go home. I tried a polite neutral answer. But in my head I was screaming, "YES YES YES!"

So we walked home. He asked me a few more questions about Sweater Guy. But not before he completely insulted me by saying we had better walk down the outside staircase next to the Tanner building instead of the staircase inside the Tanner building because he didn't want to have to open all the doors for me. Thanks Ping. Thanks a ton.

At least the door step scene wasn't too awkward. There was no hug, or even handshake. Which I was completely fine with as his BO was enough to set me gagging from a foot away.

I don't expect there will be a second date.

-The Romantic

*names have been changed to protect the innocence of good home teachers
**names have been changed to protect the poor guy from public ridicule
***Apartment numbers have been changed to protect anyone else from stalking Sweater Guy.... that's my job

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Melissa said...

Hi-- I found your blog through a friend that currently goes to BYU. Im on my lunch break at work (not at BYU) and I thought Id read a bit. I loved this story. It made me laugh. I have had the double entrance door dilemma. Keep up the writing :D